See it is simple! One needs to kill whatever is not working right for oneself. If you delay doing this murder; you shall only be delaying becoming the best version of your own-self.
At 40 my time, stamina and willpower is limited. I have deep realized that only a smart, skillful management of my attention can improve the choicest aspects of my Life. Being on autopilot- not giving much thought to what I am doing or talking randomly i.e. loose talking will not help (frenetic shallowness has not helped me or anyone ever).
I have been talking loose for multiple decades now- mostly with my closest friends, family and horrifically very few times inside my Events too (Scary!). It is a part of my personality. I for many years, secretly self explained my loose talking as sharpening my mind to become more spontaneous. I was 20% right and 80% wrong.
Why 80% wrong- because the risk reward ratio was 80/20 approx. I mean- while 20% fluency, spontaneity, sharpening and laughter happened but it came at a cost of 80% damage.
The damage cost was:-
1. People felt hurt
Most of the times they reacted (sooner or later). Not everyone is your friend and not everyone will try to understand why you said loose words. Most junta is sensitive. Majority likes fun and sarcasm but at the cost of someone else. Not on themselves.
Especially the people (your closest friends and relatives) who themselves are not running good form or luck in their own personal lives are 99.99% likely to not accept your poor jokes (howsoever Oscar winning you might self-believe your jokes to be).
You wouldn’t want to create a gap & lose some of your cherished relationships because of your stupid gift of the gab.
2. Poorest risk-reward
After loose talk- a lot of my own time and nerve energy gets wasted then in handling the people’s reactions. Such a waste. A depth destroying behavior.
In retrospect, i realized that talking less and talking only sense (most of the times) help preserve focus & keeps one even minded (a rarest virtue in today’s hysteria inducing world).
If you look around the world – a lot of good people (politicians, heads of organizations, twitter celebrities) damage their careers and growth because of loose statements. Their restless, ego laden and thence reactive mind activates their tongue and it unknowingly cauterizes their public image. The micro-decimal celebrity that I feel I am- i wouldn’t want to lose it to loose talking.
So, will i become boring if i quit loose talking? No. I will let that pent up energy figure out smarter & newer outlets for my creative juices to ooze out from. Only if i demolish something old; will I be able to create space to build something new.
The embedded genre of my work as a motivational speaker is sarcasm & humor. Will my decision mute the quality of my Events? I do not think so. For i am just deciding not to reverse sweep. I still can sweep the ball. Scoring matters at the end & after 18+ yrs, I am quite confident about my shots.
It is painful and very difficult to let go of a severely impregnated part of your personality. But amputating the unhealthy & undesired becomes critical not only for one’s body but also for one’s mind.
Talk Less. Avoid Mess. Hope i live up to my self-commitment of painstakingly cultivating depth over shallowness (even if it means embracing boredom).
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