Did you get a chance to watch the trailer of the upcoming movie “Meri Pyaari Bindu”? It makes a relevant statement. “Everyone teaches you how to be in love. But no one tells you how to forget someone you love.” Don’t you think it is important be moving on when a relationship comes to an end?
“You can move on any time you want”. The catch phrase is – WANT. You really really have to want to move on. And you will. We are all bound by our brains. Those sneaky little rogues are the ones responsible for keeping you stuck to one place. They enjoy too much power over your life because you don’t know how to keep them in line :).
So this is what I am attempting with this post – how to move on and use your break up as a motivation to get ahead in life. As a youth motivational speaker in India, I find doing post-romance talks quite interesting. We all have seen a variety of mourners. The pain may initially be very real and unbearable. But even after the worst breakup, we sleep at night, don’t we? Trust me; it’s okay. We don’t always end up with our soulmates. And the pain will not last. If you are suffering, you have to come out as fine steel. The test of fire should ensure you don’t melt into liquid form. Solidify!
I agree what I am asking of you is a difficult thing to do. But most of us don’t even get close to trying. A post-breakup period is the peak of demotivation, late-night sad songs and that’s how the ‘Rs100 for 30 tissues’ industry survives. On your inability to let go! 🙂
You can either be ordinary, keep moping or you can be stellar and come out of this stronger and more learned about what you want in life. I don’t have much for the former but if you wish to be the later, I have a few tips. Here are five inspiring ways to get over a breakup:
- Rediscover your hobbies
Ideally you shouldn’t have been in a relationship that made you give up the things you loved doing. But if you did, now is a good time to rediscover. Pick up that unfinished book, paint your t-shirts and hands along with the canvas, break a guitar string, hit the grass once again with a racket or shoes or just hit the road and travel. And know, that no relationship is good if you have to leave behind your good self for it.
Picking up a physical activity or pursuing our older passions with much more rigor and discipline is a very inspiring way to move on from a bad relationship. Thirty minutes of physical activity every day keeps emotional upheavals at bay. Your hormones also listen to your screaming muscles, which probably ask them to calm the heck down. You know how that works? The mind realizes the “power of now”. When hobbies start becoming habits, we start nailing it.
- Go back to your purpose
If you had a purpose before you fell in love which got forgotten, it’s time to find your way back to it. And if you are one of those who did not lose sight of your goals – I guarantee that you will spring back faster than your sadder counterparts!
A break up is also a very good time to make some new goals – Don’t fall for the wrong person again, try to wait for the right one or filter people more cautiously etc.
It will be hard initially. Your doggedness about your goals will form a concrete wall around you and protect you from a lot of bullsh*t in life. View your goals as your umbrella in the rainforest of crazy, broken relationships. It will shelter you and protect you from a lot of unnecessary disappointment.
Seriously, you have only one life to live. Chase your dreams, not people. The best people will come into your life when you are becoming stellar and working toward your dreams. A person who is fulfilling his or her dreams is so much more attractive than a person with a miserable outlook. Move on in style.
- Form better habits
Now that you don’t have to make late-night calls, why not utilize the time in a more sensible and productive way? Sleep early, get up early and go for a walk. Nature can heal you in innumerable ways, if you just let her do her job.
You are probably also saving a lot of mental and emotional energy now. Use it to improve yourself. You can start with your own mistakes in the relationship. Are there any flaws in your nature that need to be fixed? What did you learn from the relationship? Are there bad habits that need to be changed? If yes, now would be a very good time to do it. (Read, How to get rid of Bad Habits)
Use this new found energy to fix your fears.
- Quit Stalking
I know you do it. Because I have done it too. And that’s why I know – nothing good ever comes out of it.
Wasting time staring at your ex’s Facebook pictures, mindless tweets and Instagram posts is the most disappointing use of your Internet connection. Quit all the drama. Stop calling or bombarding your ex with texts and WhatsApp and Facebook messages that reek of desperation.
Grace is a much better option than grease. Handle yourself gracefully, and make grace your walking stick in life. Drama is for kids. Mature people step into their love stories, and they know how to step out of it, too. They don’t stalk or drunk dial their exes.
It is not just you who needs to get done and dusted. Your ex too is struggling. Give time and space to both of yourselves! It doesn’t matter if you thought your relationship was perfect. Everyone thinks so and that’s why they get into it in the first place! But remember the reason why you had to stop. That should be your guiding force.
Yes there will be a time to be friends. But if you are not mature enough to handle your emotions, now is not that time. So just, back off a little. For your own sake. Here are a few Motivational Thoughts for a Broken Heart to help you pull through!
- Forgive, if not forget.
Forgiving actually helps in forgetting too.
Holding a grudge, a soft corner or any sort of intense feeling will do you no good. You will bore a lot of people around you with your constant moping. It doesn’t matter who made the big mistake; just let it go. If it was you, forgive yourself and move on. If it was the other person, extend the same generosity to him or her as well.
Forgive, but don’t forget your reasons, your lessons. They will keep you from committing the same mistake again. Forgiving is not easy, and it takes all the mental strength you can muster. It definitely makes you a bigger and better person. Forgive because it will help you. When you do not forgive, you give your ex a rent-free space in your mind. If you want to stop loving your ex, forgive him or her.
The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.
Indifference will only come when you have forgiven. Get a new hairstyle, if it works for you. If you have to come out of a not-so-happy experience, why not do it in style? Here’s a better way to talk about ‘Love’: TED Talk
Why move on like other ordinary people do? Why not emerge an extraordinary person from this experience, like a phoenix that rises from the ashes again and again? Moving on is inevitable. How fast you do so is the choice you make. Just ensure that when you finally do it, you have changed to become a more inspired, motivated and lovelier individual than you were before.
This post was originally published at Elite Daily.