Why We Usually Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person?

It’s either a very common question or a very common problem I see – when someone is talking relationships. And we have all reeled under this. Either suffered at the hands of our own stupid beating heart, or seen people around us suffer as we nodded in disagreement at their stupidity.So, if you have constantly been falling in love with the wrong person, been very frequently saying – ‘Dear Heart, why again?’ – give this blog post a slow, sincere read.

A short story first.

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If you give it a deep thought, we are all made up of two components only. Ourselves and the people we surround our lives with. Just the amount of ourselves and others in us – varies. Today I want to talk about the second component, about families and friends, and particularly about friends. I have always told everyone – if I’m where I am today, it is because I am more lucky than talented; lucky that God & Gurus sent me some really beautiful friends. He gave me the kind of friendship that moves your universe, the kind that is inexplicably profound.

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Love is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful emotions one can experience. It can literally and figuratively rock your world, if you are really lucky. And it can make your world pretty rocky, if you are being stupid. Why then, am I making such a strange request, that you delay falling in love! Because, love alone isn’t enough. It is not everything. But most people don’t realize this until much later. And because it is very easy to mistake every other emotion in the world for love, when one is specifically looking to be in love.

Let me first tell you all the things (I learned all these years) that love is NOT:

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Just imagine for once-‘If we were to take sex out of our lives. I mean; we keep it only for pro-creation and not for anything more’. Imagine! Scary it will be from the world economy point of view. The candle light dinners at five star restaurants, lagoons, the Valentine’s Day industry, the travels to exotically romantic places, the red wines in costly glasses, the premium gifts, a large part of high end fashion, travel and hospitality industry will take a huge hit. A lion’s part our economy gets it spread in a way that two people could impress upon each other and then make it out in some corner. Precisely the reason why media glorifies sex a bit extra much than it really is. Casual sex and its pitfalls are never highlighted because no one makes money out of it!

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We have conquered space, biology, technology, art and almost everything. Is it not strange that most of us are yet decrepit about the most basic thing in life- ‘Love’? More wars are being fought inside homes and inside relationships than on the border. Joint Families were in fashion just a few decades back. Over time, it came down to husband-wife-kids. Now, even the husbands- wives want to live separately. Our intellects & arrogances might have grown because of our exposures to the world; but our so called high intellects are slowly becoming divisive (for our own good). Slowly they are turning schizophrenic too. Most relationships are failing these days. Scary!

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Do you think something would happen to you if you did not have a boyfriend / girlfriend like your other friends have? Are you scared to be single in a world full of committed people (who often don’t know why they are together)?

Let me tell you if you didn’t already know – that would be the worst reason to get committed to someone. Simply dating because you want to fit in should be declared a crime in the land of crazy young people! It is like going to toilet at a specified time (e.g. 11 am) with or without the need.

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