to see them as ‘Package Deals’… People are like mobile phones. Some have a great camera but poor battery life; some are great at music but are average at processing speeds, some look sleek but are v expensive. Ditto with people! All we need to understand is that you JUST need to be bothered about that feature in a particular person which is important to you. You need not confuse your mindset with a feature that is not pertinent to your usage. Accept people as ‘package deals’& that’s about it. That’s the secret art of managing people!
If the cumulative positives of a person outweigh the negatives — it is OK. After all you are not to marry every person you come across! The day you accept that people are different and that they must be perceived as ‘package deals’; your half people problems shall go away.
A Haryanvi sold a buffalo to a Punjabi. After a week or so the Punjabi frustratingly returns to Haryanvi and says — ‘Re Jaat ! Thaari bhains kaani hai’ (Dear Haryanvi ! Your buffalo has an eye issue).
To this the Haryanvi answers:-
‘Re sardar ! Tanney Bhains se Doodh kaadna hai ya Aaankh matakaa karna se’ (Are you to milk the buffalo or romance it in her eyes’?)
This is WHAT we forget. When trying to have a good relationship with anyone, we need be bothered about ONLY what we should be concerned about. Majority junta today wastes a big part of their time thinking about ‘people issues’ in their lives. Why is my friend like that, why is she so aggressive, why is he so careless, he is just not caring, he is two timing his girlfriend or she is wasting her time on him etc etc . Why should you THINK all this & become inelegant at your people management skills???
I have this brilliant uncle in my family who is ever helpful to all and sundry. He would even go out of the way; killing his own private times to help folks around. He has a few sundry problems too about his personality. He seeks attention from people around, he is short tempered etc. People definitely acknowledge him for his goodness but people; you know- they are ever ready to form / pass an opinion about others. ‘Ramesh is good but….’ 🙂
You can never make everyone happy. Khuch bhi kar lo ! The world is always ready to ‘make an opinion about you / critic you’. Will you let your Goals / Dreams / Uniqueness diffuse down for someone else’s thoughts? This is what I learnt looking at the life of Ramesh Uncle.
It is a long life. It doesn’t matter if a few people do not like you. Do not let it affect your confidence. Lakhs might like you later. Personally experienced!
Today decide to carry with you ONLY that which ADDS to your confidence. Baaki ‘Subtract’ maaro !
In fact the whole concept of ‘har aek friend zaroori hota hai’ is useless.
‘Har aek friend Zaroori NAHIN hota hai’
Aur naa hee
‘Jo tera hai wo Mera HOTA hai’…
Asli zindagi mein ‘Badi se badi mehfil mein bhi Insaan akela hee hota hai aur sirf apna haunslaa hee sirf apna hota hai…’
When you have many friends, you end up discussing them and you are also likely to make more social mistakes.
See the equation is simple:
Fewer friends, Fewer Relatives = Fewer issues in Life, More peace and Higher Focus. I say this to everyone who confides in me as a Motivational Speaker – You ability to focus on your potential grows. More value unlocking is likely to happen then out of you. And trust me ‘this is THE state to be in’. Growth just HAPPENS then. Personally experienced!
Don’t worry about people. When you are making ‘smart progress’ in your life – the best people will automatically happen to you. It is only when you make ‘Quiet kind of a progress’; that people get impressed the most. I have seen that people who usually do not seek attention; end up getting the MOST attention in the long run.
One ability which can really set you apart from others is ‘your ability to avoid controversies in your life’. Some people just ATTRACT controversies especially small, petty people issues. Is not your life much bigger and more worth than that? E.g. If you do not like someone’s face, IQ, maturity, personality etc — then please keep your opinions with YOU only. When you publicize someone’s oddities or make faces at them or prove to them that they are inferior- it is then that you attract social controversies. I know it is very attracting to do gossip, to discuss people but then be ready for loosing your mental peace in barter. (A brilliant TED talk about the Sociology of Gossip)
Definitely be good to others but your agenda here is not to please people & remember -their agenda is also not to please you. You simply need to get your damn job DONE & while in the process if you please or displease people; LET IT BE.
Instead of trying to upgrade the people around; work on upgrading YOURSELF.
Remember: ‘people are package deals’ & the best deal of your life could be your enhanced ability to progressively reduce your distractions.
Keep rising & shining!