This post is for all the beautiful women out there who keep on thinking, ‘what went wrong/is going wrong between us’. This post is also for all those men, who think that their lady needs to understand them better, despite the fact that they know you inside out; 14 things women need to stop doing right away! (Warning: It is a long post. I had so much to say!)

Before my fair ladies and many of the enlightened men jump on their high horses and start berating me for this ‘chauvinist’ post, please stop to consider – I am not being a chauvinist. I am just pointing out mistakes people do, that can put a burden on their relationships. I am a Motivational Speaker and this is my job, to call a spade a spade; and maybe to even metaphorically hit you with one should the need arise.

Different men like different things about women (and not the widely held belief that all men like only one thing about women). It is difficult and wrong to generalize. However, I am going to write about ‘what most men like/do not like about their ladies’; and things women need to stop doing right away -a few lessons that I learnt over some 20 odd years and also after a few break ups. I am not a professional in this field, don’t get me wrong. Just an effort to make it simple for those who are still struggling. 🙂

Yes there is a book called, ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ but the truth is – both are from earth and they need to deal with each other. You cannot do much about aspects as your physical appearances / oddities in personalities; but you can always mould yourself a little bit and avoid the tough way. Most men or women in relationships who I meet; are mostly either bored of each other & are just pushing the relationship or failing to re-create the magic in spite of their best attempts.

Dear Ladies,

Trust us — You are very beautiful and we just cannot do without you.  You symbolize strength; as we men can never have the patience to labor and raise kids. We love you a lot but there are some things which do make us say “Janam Samjha Karo”! Some women after this blog post might want to answer me back at my face saying that ‘Akash you are a male chauvinistic Zebra’. Others might want to bring the lady inside them out and ‘Silence me with a few strong words’. Please know that your offense is never my intent. There are people who really do these mistakes. And a true feminist would want everyone to improve equally, wouldn’t they?

1. Emotional Overdose:

We prefer/love women who bring with them ‘fewer emotional issues’. By this I do not mean that you must not share your emotions. But, we like women with simpler emotions. Ladies — we love women who have more sense of humor & less sense of rumor. We will get bound to become your fans ‘if you make us laugh’.

And then you also complain about —‘Tumhare paas mere liye time nahin hain, meri baat suntay taq nahin ho’. Mata ji — kaisey sunein ? Apni baat ki recording karo aur khud ko sunao . Kya sun paaogee ?

Understand we are all (both you and me) a stressed and somewhat messed up lot. We already are handling emotions at our workplaces etc . If you add your ‘Laughter & Fun’ to our lives we will just worship you. However- What you usually do is that you make us compete with your ‘emotional lesser competence’.

Yes, getting emotional is not something one can help and that is what makes us human. But we would appreciate if our lady is not emotional for 18 hours a day. ‘Ye tumhara Dil hai ya kambaqth BSNL ka Broadband Connection jo Baat ! Be Baat pe toottaa rehta hai ’. ‘Drama’ is for school girls. We men love adult, mature girls. Keep KISSing (Keeping it Simple Silly).

2. We LIKE you to be INDEPENDENT & SMART too:

Gone are the days when we wanted you to love/ respect us for the fact that we earn money and are stronger in most ways. We have realized that you are Equal. Now you also need to accept the same and make us believe that you accept it like that. We will love you if you are independent financially, emotionally and intellectually too.

We prefer our women to have ‘Personalities’. We want you to spend a little more on yourself and look that extra smart (by looking after yourself well). Yes! We are bound to cherish your company ‘if you prefer being physically fit over looking like emotionally hit’. We love confident women. We will promise to love you till the time India wins FIFA —‘if you are a fluent communicator and a smart talker’. Trust me — we will always be needing reasons to look up to your personality. You might think — ‘All this is conditional love’. If it is — ‘then let it be’. This is modern MEN. Deal with us.

Ladies — Aaj , Kal aur Parson — Let ONLY one heart beat for you forever and let that be YOUR OWN Heart. Seek your guy’s ‘Respect’ & not ‘Attention’. Trust me the former lasts longer. School girls are thirsty for attention. Ladies maintain standards. Remember, ‘Demand is always inversely proportional to Price’.

3. Overdoing Care:

We know you care for us. And you care a lot. And trust me we appreciate that. But, we just do not like the fact that you treat us as 10 year olds. It is not funny and lovely always. Remember, too much rain = mud which is not pleasant. Sometimes, you need to let us be.

Ladies, a very important – please do not facilitate the raising of an entire generation of men who would starve to death if left on their own. If you care enough for them, you would invest in making them stronger, more self reliant and complete – instead of being dependent on you for basic survival!

4. Dooriyan bhi hai zaroori:

Research says that couples in relationships often feel distant from one another once in a while and they don’t feel like talking/hanging out. It is perfectly normal and not a sign of breaking up. So please stop getting all paranoid and emotional if we are a little withdrawn. It is nothing, most likely.

Rather you must purposefully ignore us. It puts our brain in place. We will feel more attracted to you. And make sure that when you are ignoring us- you maintain your style and smile. We will run faster to get back to you then. Give us time to miss you, how I am suppose to miss you when you are always there. OR give us time to miss you then see how passionately I KISS you 🙂

Do Badan – Aek Jaan is OUT;  
Do Badan – Teesri Jaan is IN …

Do read: Lovepal Bill for the Corrupt Dil

If all your focus is just on the relationship; that is when it will not work. Create a common interest /a common goal / a common path- to move on; rather than focusing ON the relationship ALL THE TIME.  Create HAPPY & SMART Relationships; not INDIA TV types.

Even computers need REFRESH button and after that it performs better. Find your refreshment time to perform better in life.

5. We are not story tellers:

Most men are incapable of telling stories which could have been wound up in a sentence. In short, we love the song seedhe point pe aao naa’. We know you like to talk to us but please stick to your girlfriends for all the gossips that are related to beauty parlors and spas and salons. And yes, that doesn’t mean we dislike long conversations. But, there is a basic need. It is called ‘interest’- talk about ‘me and you, and not ‘wo aur uske wo’, progress in life, not ‘kaun bhaga with kiski wife’, fun, making OUR lives better instead of thinking ‘kiski saaree kisse better’ and we will be yours throughout the conversations. You be our inspiration, please!

6. Don’t be a Sherlock Holmes:

Allow us some guys time out. And for God’s sake do not be like Kalki Kochlin in ZNMD. We like our space. We would like to hand over our Facebook password / phone passwords only when we feel like. Allow us that bit of liberty and freedom. We will tell you if we saw some really pretty lady on the road when we are sure enough that you can handle it well (everyone is allowed to have a look at the menu even if they don’t order). We will appreciate if you don’t scan our laptops/emails/messages every second hour. If there is any ‘shaq’ on your mind, just ask it and get it sorted. This ‘detectiveness’ breeds unhealthiness. Not desired.

7. Control freaks — NO!

One of the things women need to stop doing is being control freak. It is okay if the room is messed up, t-shirt untucked, the food at home is not of your liking, things are not at place. If we are of the organized kind, we will remain organized without you telling us. Accept it as a part of ‘who we are’. I am not saying you should not try to correct.

But continuously nagging about these things makes you a control freak in our eyes. Like you, we also like praise. Our requirements are fewer. We can manage with women ‘not criticizing’ us always. A compliment here and there once in a blue moon works like ‘extra cheese on the garlic bread without extra charge’.

Let me share a huge secret ladies. The men are not perfect, just like you are not. And that leaves so much room for improvement, with lots of love and a little care. Train us, according to your needs – but with constructive criticism and careful, logical arguments – and not by emotional screaming fights!

8. Shopping = Sigh!

We cannot shop like you. Well, majority of us can’t. We go to the shop we want to and buy what we want to buy. That’s it. We do not get the concept of scanning 50 shops and not buying what we wanted to. And there are much better ways to spend time than to go window shopping. Yes we like to buy gifts for you and make you smile. But please don’t stretch it beyond our tolerance levels (which are considerably lower than yours when it comes to such things).

9. Difficult Questions:

So you took 2 hours to get dressed up for a party. We love to compliment our women and make them smile. Honestly we do. But, we just do not know how to answer the questions- ‘Am I looking fat? Is this dress looking good on me? Is my hairstyle okay? Should I get my hair trimmed? Is the make-up too loud?’ If there is anything wrong, we will let you know because we want our lady to look the prettiest of them all. But most ladies are not capable of taking these criticisms in good humor and couples end up fighting and cancelling the party altogether).

If your emotional competence is taking time to strengthen itself, please let us know!

10. Assumptions are not REAL:

You must have heard, ‘when you assume, you make an ass of you and me’. So, please don’t assume things. If we are not taking your call / getting home late, it might so happen that we are really busy and not just ‘avoiding you/having another affair’.   There might be other female friends which are special too.

Please have faith that you are special and no one can take your place. But, also understand how monotonous life would be if we both have just both of us for ourselves. The relationship will get boring then. Please don’t think too much! Most of us are not the douchebags that you come across on TV 🙂

11. It is about SEX but NOT always!

Accept it -Most relationships begin with ‘physical attractions’ for us. Love develops gradually and later on. If we really love you, it will not be about sex always. You will have to believe that. Do not think that we are that ‘Ghadi Detergent advertisement always- ‘pehle istemaal karein ; phir Vishwaas Karein’.

Whether we like it or not, physical relations and intimacy is always a sensitive topic. And if you demand sensibility from us, we do too! Both the parties handle it with care. If your answer is ‘NO’, there are better ways to say it rather than, ‘all you want is Sex’. Your guy will understand if he really is your guy.

Please try not to put the very foundation of your relationship into jeopardy with this cliched sentence. Because if this intention does not turn out to be true then it creates a chasm forever. Talk it out. Communicate instead of letting bad feelings simmer within. Ladies- please be very careful here as most men are likely to react weird when they are told a ‘NO’ about it. Let your gut feeling decide if he is the kind of guy who would sex you out and then Ex you out. Cinderella didn’t have to take off her dress off to win her Prince Charming, and you should not either.

(If sex obsession is an issue in your relationship / life, you might want to read ‘Vicky Loner‘.)

“Not always SEXcessfull relationships are successful”. Both the things are important chahe ho “part” ya “heart”.


So ladies, we do love you a lot. After all, you make this place and our lives more beautiful and worthwhile. It is just a small request. We like things to be simple and only you can do that for us! 🙂

We are nothing without you. Sachi keh raha hoon — ‘by God ! Ki kasam hai’ 🙂

Gentlemen, may be you need to share it with you lady and your friend’s lady too! And ladies, may be you should share it with all the wonderful women you know and help them improve their relationships!

Akash Gautam

P.S – Sequel on ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’ coming soon!


About Author

Akash Gautam is a Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer in India. Hundreds of Top Corporates like Google, CIPLA, Vodafone, McKinsey & Co., Maruti, HDFC, RIL, M&M & premier colleges like IIMs, IITs, SRCC etc go to him whenever they need a refreshing, big bang impact. Write to usWrite to us to know how he can transform your Team.

  • Megha Kedia

    Abhi tak kisi ne gaaliyaan nai di.. kya ho gaya hai India ko..

  • Preeti

    It was just greattt …. I am still thinking ….. u made me smile with these tips and yepp Hatssss offf 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Preeti 🙂

  • Excellent aakashji .. Will surely try to keep everything in mind ..

  • No words!!!

  • Jess Parikshit Dhar

    Brave! and to the point. You better come out with the sequel on ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’. Or else, the purpose of this one will be defeated.

    • AkashGautam

      Jess, Soon!

      This is just one side of the story. The darker side – is yet to come!

  • Umesh Dhingra

    Hi Akash,absolutely an excellent the way you hv simplified matters in today’s complicated world.cheers.

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Umesh ji 🙂

  • nyc blog.. doin good ..bla bla … short me niptau to “” FANTABULOUS”” 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Savvy Aggarwal

    A very truly and aptly written post…

  • It was really good… Kind of eye opener 😛 😉

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Roopsi!

      More eye-openers on their way 🙂

  • divya

    akash this is my personal experience whenever guys find such girls they feel ghomane ke liye tu achi hai but mummy se milane ke liye nahi long back i met i a guy who felt i was different but always said no strings attached please all zebras and pigs marry only those BTM s men needs courage to absorb these actualty modern girls and consider them equals all the young girls reading this beware find a man for you and be yourself no one in this world knows what you are except you…

  • vaishali

    bravo! too good.. 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Vaishali 🙂

  • Couldn’t be better! Loved it.

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Puneet 🙂

  • bullshitting…. stop mr gautam… fooling urself and others…

  • Vratika

    Great read! Beneficial and hilarious ;D Desperately waiting for ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’ 😛

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Vratika!

      Sequel soon 🙂

  • divya

    nyc! 🙂 i agree m relle waiting fr d nxt part! please xplain a grl’s syd tooo!!

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Divya!

      Most certainly. Women are the most beautiful creation of God; men – just not 🙂

      Sequel – soon!

  • Debanjan

    Bang on !

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Debanjan! 🙂

  • charu

    u sound wannabe types wid such a post…..heard a lot abt AKASH GAUTAM..d dis wat u hv writen..SHAME..complete shame…all d points are so lame…yes things do differ btw a man n a woman…they cnt think alike..its genetic …bt ur views they were shitty.may bu cud have been more chivalrous while writing..u sounded rude like a cheapster….
    il be lookin foward to ur men’s sequel..

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Charu!

      Thank you for the kind words 🙂 . You may also like to read my other wannabe posts. This is just the tip of the ice-berg !

      And, I promise, the sequel will be even cheaper. but, you might not want to read it. coz it is rude and cheap. Or may be you will, coz it won’t be directed at women 🙂

      Jokes apart – Throughout my post, I have maintained that ‘women are awesome and beautiful, better than men in many many cases. This is just – what I found they could improve upon’. But, may be you are already perfect! Please ignore 🙂


  • anjali

    its really gud..i apne jo desription dia hai wo mjhme nai mere boyfrnd me hai…wat 2 do???

    • AkashGautam


      May be the sequel will suit you more 😉


    • gaurav

      ho hi nai skta anjali…..better need 2 check ur boyfrnd dat he is boy lolz 🙂

    • same here :p

  • sanjay

    akash amusingly edutainment as usual…I loved it…N keep posting them even if a section of women gets mad at u..they are always mad at someone or the keep going….waiting 4 the next part as well….

    • AkashGautam


      Hope your lady doesn’t see this comment 😉

      Thanks! Next part – soon!

  • osaaamm one….. njoyed it thoroughly…!! 🙂 😀 :D…
    gr8 work… w8ing for d 2nd one nw…>>>

    • AkashGautam

      thanks Shilpa 🙂

  • Aavriti

    Waiting for
    ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’.
    Let’s see what you’ve got to say there..

    • AkashGautam

      hi Aavriti !

      Trust me – There will be much more to write. Women are anyday prettier, better and more awesome than men are!

  • shreya

    its perfect..:D

    • AkashGautam

      thanks Shreya 🙂

      • vicky

        why u rply only to the girls … yr ladke b motivate hona chahte h ..and i m sure sabhi successful bhi:)

  • Lopa

    Hmm. Honestly, I have come across hundreds of posts exactly similar to yours. When I actually motivated myself to read this marathon post, I expected something more than just ‘A-Z about women’. I am disappointed, not because I am a woman and this post is all about how intolerable we are ‘sometimes’ (which is very much true). I am disappointed because there wasn’t anything in the post which made me sit up and read. I am not going into details here about what I found true and what far from being true. The point is just that maybe it’s a better idea to talk about relationships in general, instead of dissecting men and women like what has been done millions of times before.


    • AkashGautam

      Hi Lopa!

      May be you are right & it could have been better. However, the intent was not to describe the ‘A-Z’ of women but – how sometimes they overdo in love; written for their betterment. The other side of the story coming soon 🙂

      and, as far as relationships in general goes, there are two more blog posts under the category ‘Relationships’. You might wish to go through them as well!

      Thanks for writing in. Cheers 🙂


  • manisha

    thoroughly loved it !!! 😀

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Manisha 🙂

  • Payal

    I had expected smething else…well m waiting for “Jaan samjha karo”, why it is everytime ‘Jaanam samjha karo’ kabhi to Jaan ko bhi samajhna chahiye.

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Payal !

      Dont’ worry.. That side of the story will also be written ji 🙂

      • jai

        next title should not be “JAAN SAMJHA KRO”it should be “KABHI TOH JAAN KO BHI SAMAJHNA CHAHIYE” .taken from the above post of payal

  • Amar

    I am really waiting for the next sequel article to this !! Could not wait for that !!
    Isn’t the Sequel on ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’ ?

  • Rose

    well….. tht wz a gud 1…..!!! No doubt its written too much abt LADIESSSSS being wrng evrywhr….. bt stil… As far as i hv seen….. many relationshpz r dese sorts…. Boring… nd js dragging dose!!! Baaki i hv alwyz been single .. so dnt knw much abt it..:P

  • I just have to say ” May this post brings the best out of GIRLS for US” but yes, it may bring the worst side of GIRLS for YOU too :P….

  • Aditi Dey

    Sir your article’s very good but my personal experiences are otherwise. I agree with your points but doubt that men always prefer ladies to girls when it comes to relationships.. But maybe it’s just that am yet to meet my Mr. Perfect 😉 Anyway, one minor doubt Sir, why is the burden of understanding laid upon a woman’s shoulders most of the time? Not that I mind being an understanding person but sometimes, I too want people (men) to accept me with some of my flaws (from the list of don’ts in your article).. & am sure your article will inspire many & help them to avoid unnecessary complications.. 🙂

    • Meera

      Hey dear Aditi…just sharing – About expectations.. it depends on us as well at times how to handle the expectations from various relations. Well i think the first woman we see once we come to the world is our Mom and the way she handles us, family, siblings, relatives, neighbors etc etc etc (specially in our culture) it makes a mark in our mindset that its the Female who is suppose to be the ‘Giver’. I would say one out of my experience there are Men there who understands and respect our individuality! Never loose your heart and individuality for a person who cannot take you as you are:) And about Girl over Lady – I’ll say its all about maturity in the head n heart. Immaturity mind will always go for a girl ;).

      • Akash

        Well written Meera !!

  • AkashGautam

    To all the beautiful women out here-

    I respect all of you, dil se. And this post has been written only to help u ‘wonderfully beautiful’ women become more awesome in your personal lives, in your relationships; everywhere!

    I apologize if anyone’s sentiments got hurt. That was never my intention. these were just lessons I leaned from all the pretty ladies I could meet (Thank God! 🙂 )

    And yes – the other side of the coin – how MEN go wrong – is coming very soon 🙂

    • Aadya

      Wen is the other side of the coin coming Akash?? Waiting to read it to help myself in understanding better. 🙂

  • vadia likheya sir ji…..looking forward for nxt part bcz “ONLY GIRLS” cant be held responsible…..ONE HAND CANT CLAP…

    • AkashGautam

      Very true Baldev!

      Men behave foolishly too 🙂

  • Yamini

    Really enjoyed reading…i need to start wrking… eye opener as to how to deal with men :-))

  • arunima

    ha ha…..
    Women are the most beautiful creation of God and make this place and lives more beautiful but at the same time they overdo in love and kind of intolerable….. 😀 😀 nyways its really nyc…….like it 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Hi !

      I believe you misconstrue me. I haven’t mentioned anywhere that they are intolerable. mistakes happen. this was an attempt to make some people realize theirs.

      The sequel should answer it all! 🙂

  • Sugata Mukherjee

    Lovely write-up Mr.Gautam. Story of every guy’s life, well, am talking from experience that you hit all the right spots. But its just that if women started following everything that we want them to, then wouldnt life become boring in that way? Waiting to read your next work. Regards

    • Meera

      Well i would like to say something here ..plz dont mind Sugata. I too agree that some of the points are bang on ! Few points were like oh yea this was me 😉 . About following the points..I think what I am getting from this article is Girls should stick to the values n ethics and grow as an individual and focus on herself rather than just making the relation as center of her world. Should understand that it need efforts n clear thinking for a relationship to grow in a positive way (applies on both) !

  • TBD

    Your PS regarding the sequel is very confusing (if you ignore the quotes)…. but spot on for majority of the cases.

  • Meera

    Hi Akash! I did post one comment about the article.. did u receive mine ? unable to see it now 🙁

    • AkashGautam

      Hi ! Meera ,

      I did reply and thanked u too… Why I’d not visible ? Some disquss issues – I guess. Shud get sorted.
      Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

  • from the thousands of year till date, many poem/lyrics writer has been writing songs/poem/ghazals on women. but the appreciable part is they are still getting the words.
    on the contrary, when they asked to write songs/poem on men…what the write……CHASKA PE TALA LAGTA NAHI ME KYA KARUN, BHAG D K BOSE……
    so hatts of akash sirji U R REAL MAN

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Tarique 🙂

  • from every 14 point i m suffering from. how can i say to her…I NEED/WANT MY SPACE

  • Gaurav

    India gonna win FIFA & KISS(keep it simple silly) part ws d best sir 🙂 ….nd yes ladies u need 2 go through dis……

  • girls u should acquiesce it…dont try to run from it,

  • bindiya

    sir,u r a professional in dis too….my guy n i are very happy together….:)..ya dere r sumthings we both have to work on..thanks a lot..u rock:) as always…waiting for d erotic sequel….:P

    • AkashGautam

      hi Bindiya!

      Best wishes 🙂 .. Glad I could help!

  • Kushal

    It was awesome…
    Plzz explain the female part too so that we go gud…lolzzz 🙂

  • Somesh

    Absolutely factual
    Now, waiting for the darker side of it .

    • AkashGautam

      Somesh – thanks!

      Soon 🙂

  • Geetanjali Seth Goenka

    Akash from the few lines I have read I would like to tell u that U Stink , ur update stinks !!!( I am not even going to bother reading the rest ) If u think that women shud be independent financially, emotionally and intellectually , then I wud say F*** Off to all men !! Y in the first place will a man be needed ??? The relation between a man & a woman is a relationship of give & take ! Period !! Aur in sab main rakha hi kya hai ? this is the worst piece of update u have given , believe me I am sorry to even open this page !!!

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Geetanjali!

      Much thanks for all the love you have shown in your comment. I apologize for not having made myself v clear on the ‘intent’. People take things the way they want to 🙂 .. I agree!

      I do not think I need to explain (having done that in the post very well) that I do not mean to hurt any lady. I run a social media with thousands of people. I would suggest you hit the ‘unfollow’ button and unsubscribe if my views hurt you so much. One cannot really make everyone happy.

      PS – Had you gone through the whole of it, may be you wouldn’t have written the above comment.


      • gia mangla

        hey sir, how uve been?? i couldnt stop myself from writing dis … The post ofcourse is awesome, but wats more awesome is how u handle the negative comments.. Really, m quite inspired ! Thumbs up to u for handling such “immature” comments with so much of maturity 😀 You ‘ve just unintentionally taught me to do the toughest thing so easily 😉 m glad , i bothered to read d comments :)) chEerZ 😉

        • AkashGautam

          Thanks Gia 🙂

          As someone rightly says, “There is no failure. Either there is success or there is feedback. And all the criticism is just feedback”


  • hi all your writings and i make sure i dont miss on any of them..this one is definately a bit
    male chauvinistic..but..i totaly accept its true to the core..:):) liked it n actually smiled a lot reading that and thinking about my behavior in such situations..:)

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Sumitra!

      Thanks for all the support 🙂 Gratitude!

      As for this being male chauvinistic, I can only say – wait for the sequel. No one is perfect. But if we have to compare men and women (which even I agree is a bit unfair), I am sure women are a notch higher in perfection!


  • Anurag

    You have hit the bulls eye….Waiting for the next post..So that I can improve myself. If I want to change some qualities of my gal ,first I should change/adapt for her happiness.

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Anurag!

      That is true! I believe mistakes happen on both sides. One cannot cover them in one blog post 🙂

      Sequel – soon!

      • Yes, blog posts should be small,entertaining and yet informative.You have these and more attributes in your blog.

  • upshi

    hey akash,
    i really lk d wy u understnd and write abt d problems and issues and wtever i thin it jus becoz u r also a i must say BHUGATBHOGI but its awesome ……….ya but as a grl i too wtng fr ur next part ……….

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Anurag !!

      Yes – to some extent. Experience speaks 🙂 .. Sequel very soon !!

  • really gud…i jst cudnt help laughing…i wud say…quite witty and nicely written 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Sunishtha 🙂

  • Agree on most except that it always is about sex with men. Really it is!

    • AkashGautam

      Laxmi 🙂

      Man’s perspective – yet to be published !

  • Pooja

    Great!! Aakash …Worth reading this post!well written article about men -women relationship !!waiting for the sequel 😉

  • I have learned a lot from this…and yes there are couple of things that needs our attention. My girl also read this and we are in a mutual understanding to discuss THOSE LITTLE THINGS and sort them out rather than creating drama and tantrums. Thank you very much for this post …we are waiting for the next part.
    Greetings !! 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      I’m glad Ansh!

      Best wishes

  • chunky

    this is all infatuation

    • AkashGautam

      Chunky – I know ; most of the times love is. And that is when all of the above happens.

      By the way, did I get your comment correct?

  • sweety

    Lolz. I felt that itz written by my bf as every word echoed his thoughts n feelings. HAD a gr8 learning experience by this. Ill make sure he doesnt read this or else he vl be like ‘Luk I am perfectly normal unlike wat u think’. Though I am eagerly waiting for the next blog which will echo my feelings and i can forward him to read/

    • AkashGautam

      Sweety 🙂

      Thanks ji !!

  • Somya

    Hello Akash Sir,
    Can’t say that I can totally relate to it. Most guys I meet get angry because I give more priority to my work than talking to them about their not-so-interesting events of the day.Guys who just wanna talk n talk all day without any work and get too cheesy and mushy all the time. Anywhere and everywhere! In fact, I tend to break up with a guy if he gets cheesy with me. My ex boyfriend was Sherlock Holmes. He would log in on my FB account, check my phone and read my messages (even call logs!) That’s why he’s an “Ex” now.

    In short, there are even guys who behave like this.. And going by this account of girls and assuming it to be true, I doubt if they are guys 😛

    • Somya

      At the same time, I also agree that over 50% girls do fall in this category. And I truly feel sorry for guys who date them. 😛

    • AkashGautam

      I think your doubt is correct about they being ‘real men’ 😉

  • divya

    hello sir….plezz suggest…
    If a person says dat he had already been in 5-6 relationships n now he says 2 a girl dat he truly love her n all d other relationships were just bcoz of physical attraction n were a mere tympass….So d girl should belive dat he truly loves her or not……….
    Kindly give the answer sir….

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Divya!

      It is a v difficult question to answer; especially for a guy 😉

      Well, jokes apart – I won’t really be able to comment on it (might be true/might not be true). Let your heart judge and decide. All I can say is – take your time!

      Best wishes


  • savi apple

    helo akash i waana say dt i had atnded ur twooo seminars and i waan knw u always sy abt boys ovr gilrs why so?
    IN this blog too u say abt boys over girls dt girls are wrong bt u must have to tell things abt grls over noys over same blog

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Savi!

      Please wait for the sequel (as mentioned).

  • chhaya

    Gud One……. waiting 4 sequel…….

  • Pall

    My best fren’s boyfren broke up with her bcuz she did not give him overdoses of emotions 😛
    He olso thought dat it meant dat she didn’t ‘love’ him truly.

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Pall!

      All I can say is – he needs to be more emotionally competent 🙂

  • true

  • Bharat Kumar

    ya its really not the same old story that we men find the women wrong and the women find wrong in us……..though a 21st cent personality, we all are travelling a bit faster and resemble to be of 25th cent. Its not a talk of the stories that “two bodies-one soul”. I just know one thing. A man is just different from that of a women and science too proves it.
    Its really a magic that being different both in appearance and mind, we find comfort with the opposite and I will name this comfort as “love”.
    but love too is based on reasoning now a days I find. the different criteria’s are Belief, faith, trust, understanding and dignity. if any one absent, brings great fracture in relationship.

    • AkashGautam

      Well written Bharat!

  • shanky

    akash sir shayad ise padh ke inhe kuch akal aa jaye…..

  • Kshitiz

    Impeccably written and greatly humorous, the best part is that the truth is presented in its crude form and no sugar coating has been done. Yeah most of the guys will have to agree that they follow the same mindset (including me).
    Reminds me of a tagline from a famous liquor brand – “Men will be Men” !!! 🙂
    Looking forward for your sequel in which you are going to turn the tables!!!

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Kshitiz!

      I’m looking forward to it too 🙂 . Tables might turn on me as well !!

  • Yo!! Proud of You AKASH SIR and team 🙂 AWESOME ONE 🙂

  • jugal

    pyar ka panchnama 2 😉

  • Ashish

    Chakk te fatte ! Bhut wadiya sir.. Totally describe the person in me and the feelings I wished to convey! Shared with my gf and all my friends.. 🙂

  • Chironjoy

    Akash Sirji No doubt you wrote a wonderful piece but somehow u portrayed men that we are incapable of emotion which is not true but have to agree with maximum points of your description of relationships. But U forgot to mention the serious damage of third party intruder in a relation.
    But Fan of your awesome one-liners and KO Punches !!

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Chironjoy!

      Wait for sequel – men are capable of emotions too 🙂

  • pramod

    hi sir
    again you have come up with a masterpiece.This article even though from a guy point of view seems to blame women for all the ills in the relationship. Women may be melodramatic in nature but they are more truthful . most of the time realtion works due to women/ i know u will come up with all these point in forthcoming blogs. But all the point u have raised are genuine

    • AkashGautam

      I completely agree with you Pramod 🙂

  • Great one!

    Akash i agree with you, If girls take it in a positive way, life can be much more sorted n breather.

    I personally want to add one more thing which go wrong from our side “living too much in Kal” (future n past both).

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Geetika!

      If taken in right stride, things could definitely improve. And yes, I missed on that point you have mentioned 🙂

  • Shatakshi

    Hello Aakash! Reading your views is always fun for me. You have express the feelings of boys very sincerely and of course in a funny manner. That’s really commendable. You have bring light on the funniest part of a gal’s personality though it’s painful for many boys(lolz :P) but we(gals) cann’t help you guys literally. God make us like that.

    The best thing gals and guys can do is to accept her/his love as he/she is. Don’t try to change the behaviour of each other. This is what call a true love.

    Waiting for your next blog! 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Thanks Shatakshi!

      Coming soon. And yes, you are absolutely right 🙂

  • vandana

    very well described and infact very clearly understood lekin jab apply karna hota hain toh clarity gayab….pheeew

    • AkashGautam

      Vandana ji 🙂

      Don’t worry. My blog is there to stay. You can always come back and read it again 🙂

  • Harvendra katiyar

    Simply wonderful!
    I agree.
    I wish people learn from it rather than making further arguments.

  • rit

    ds s good… appreciated!!
    eagerly waiting fr nxt part.. i think space shuld be maintained in a relationshp..

  • rohini nayak

    all balls…as if we care what men like and what they dun…….faltu ka bakwas likh diya……. kuch achha toh tha hi nahi ladko ke baare mein yahan pe….saare ladke aise nahi hotein….kuch gadhe selfish type ke hotein hain unka attitude aisa hota hain…. ladkiya kyun adjust karegi….tumlog adjust karo humlogo ke saath… khud ki itni lambi list bana if guys r sooo important huh

    • AkashGautam

      Rohini ji !

      Shayad aapne theek se dekha / padha nahi isko pura …

      Never mind. Hope you read the sequel to this post completely and then comment.


  • Kanupriya

    wow! loved it sir..great article…hav always been a big fan of your gyaan…waiting for d sequel!

  • Pragati Chadha

    afta readn ths i feel prsnally.. i need 2 follow ths its hy tym 🙂
    m jus like d abve mntioned gal…. !!!!!!!!!

    • AkashGautam

      Pragati 🙂

  • claire

    Waiting to see what your bring in your next article!!!This one is good but hopefully next one would be better

  • Haha, true that!
    Waiting for the sequel. 🙂

  • Vicky

    ZIP OPENER !!!!

  • Dipti Jayara

    hi akash…i totally agree with your writing…i have seen people around me suffering and make others suffer due to their emotional problems…thanx for all the gyan.. 😉

  • Konali Gupta

    hello akash,
    i really liked the post which you have written.
    i am sure many guys would have exhaled a sigh of relief on seeing what all they go through penned down so crisply and precisely.
    now, coming to me. i have been told all my 24 years, that the reason i have always been single is that i am “too different, too practical”. one guy friend went far enough to say “there is no drama in your life. no matter how much we guys say we hate drama, we secretly crave it”. my guy friends, all well meaning people, have spent hours researching the reason i am single and came up with the above explanation.
    if what u said is true, then i must be an alien having these characters or even though guys say they would love an intelligent, practical girl, they end up chasing the pretty/hot ones who use their brains for researching other’s lives and making themselves miserable.
    your experiences in life might be saying that the former is true, but my lack of it strongly tilts towards the latter.
    looking forward to your reply

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Konali !

      I can only say that your man will be really lucky then. He is out there somewhere for a ‘no hang ups; awesome’ kinda lady 🙂

      Best Wishes!

      • konali

        thanks for your wishes. well, i am too independent to be committed to someone. i just wanted to make a point that there is a huge difference between what the guys say they want and what they actually want. there might be a reason why girls are the way they are.

        • Niki

          i agree konali…men say they want intelligent women but actually they want immature, silly, dumb girls who are easy to manipulate by them.

        • gaurav

          hi about chatting this out over a coffee?

          • konali

            i think coffee can be hampered by the geographically isolating parameters. but the chance of chatting on this topic is too lucrative to miss

    • Scorpion

      hello, i hope u will get your other side of the coin soon.
      best of luck.

  • Vedita Rai

    Just superb..:DD
    loved going throught it.. bt alot leg pulling is done of girls in dis…:D
    understand everything bt v r not dat bad…;)
    sumtyms todhe overcaring ho jate hain bt vil keep al dis in mind nw…plzzzz write sumtym 4 gals nw…:)

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Vedita!

      You think u are not bad; I think you all are awesome. But, we never need to be perfect to be awesome do we? 🙂

      Even we have imperfections – may be more than you have!

      thanks for writing in ..


  • Akash I wish u cud have posted it 4-5months earlier…… 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Sanket!

      You could have seen my other relationship blogs earlier 🙂

  • Manisha was a nyc article…bt dnt u think in this way u r changing ur gal to whom u loved…thn where z love nd y u loved…bt i knw d gal who love vl definitely follow it…becoz 4 dem…their relationship z above then their ego nd attitude…Silly Gals 😛

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Manisha!

      Thanks for pointing it out. But I would like to say that – I have been very careful in not mentioning anywhere that men should try to change their lady. All the points have been written for helping them better their ‘Emotional Competence’ when with their loved one.

      A little bit of adjustments and changes in temperaments here and there could do wonders to a relationship. Acceptance can only when we try to change ourselves at least to some extent.

      The sequel shall show the other side of the story 🙂


  • akhil sayal

    where is d lyk button……and oh shut up……dere is only one.. :))

    • AkashGautam

      Akhil 🙂


  • Vipul

    A very ordinary post which anybody could write !!
    Direct statements are made which are not true for every couple nor at all times !!

    Nobody talks about the issues in the country, everyone’s into this shit now a days.

    And yes Mr. Gautam, I don’t follow you much, but I can tell you this is not gonna last long, plan something else for your future, this is my suggestion 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Vipul !!

      Yes, I am an ordinary man with no extra-ordinary powers. Hence, an ordinary post. Also – I would suggest you read all my disclaimers properly which have been mentioned at many places saying “I have not tried to generalize”

      I would like to point out – many people DO TALK about the country issues. And they only talk. I believe ‘The emotional competence of the youth of this country’ is an issue and I am trying to solve it. But of course, it might be shit for many people. Trust – u are very high on EQ. Cheers!

      And – lastly – thank you so much for such deep concern about my future. Do go through some of my blog posts; they might help u out in a thing or two for your future (if they are not shit)

      Best Wishes!

  • vipul

    With all due respect Mr. Gautam, u r a really talented and respected man, pls write more about the issues with the country and its youth.

  • Guest

    “Writtern to d perfection”:: Akash sir forwarded to my lady. thabks a lot.:)
    And its nt a male baised article rather its perfectly balanced to the truth.
    Keep writing sir.

    • AkashGautam

      Hi Guest 🙂

      Thanks ji !! U are right. Unfortunately, people perceive it the way they want to ..

  • harshita

    sir i do agree wid anjali……. its actually my guy who acts dis weird……… a bit too much to handle/………. eagerly waitn 4 the sequel i cud make him read…………. 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Then Harshita – same reply for u as Anjali 🙂

  • sirji kya toh likthe ho mann gae aaplke vachan !!! 🙂

  • aastha

    it wasss juzzz fabbb!!! all nagging n super emotional gfs shud read dis!!!! 😛

    • AkashGautam

      Aastha 🙂

      share it with them ji !!

  • aastha

    it wasss juzzz fabbb!!! all nagging n super emotional gfs shud read dis!!!! 😛

  • konali

    really appreciate the fact that you take the trouble to reply to people, good or bad, no matter. 🙂

    • AkashGautam

      Konali 🙂


  • niki

    the blog did not deliver some serious message….all points mentioned seem
    movies inspired….the same old ‘u r wrong, i am right’ fight between men n women.

    • AkashGautam

      Niki ..

      I would suggest – you read it again. And may be without prejudices. I have no where mentioned the ‘I’m right. You are wrong’ thing.

      Or may be, you can miss it. I have doubts I can get the message across in the second chance as I have written things quite clearly.

      Just in case u do – there is a sequel to it 🙂

      • Niki

        The blog is mere entertaining. Does not handle the problem, it brings out. Girls are mushy, over emotional, over caring , shopping maniac, at times spy…these points are over-rated by movies n all…i expected more factual and original content from you.
        Nevertheless, the blog is entertaining.

  • Samudra

    Hey Akash,
    awesome work dude……..its fully genuine…..

  • sarabjeet kaur

    I really liked ur post.I am getting married soon i hope it will help me a lot.
    waiting for the post ‘how MEN go wrong’

  • Aashima

    Hello Akash.
    Your Blog is just awesome and being a girl m saying this whatevr u have written is totally true. But if we are ready to change our attitude thn boys should also adjust in relationships.
    PS: Eagerly waiting for a sequel.

  • Aashima

    Hello Akash
    Your Blog is just awesome and being a girl i am saying whatever you have written is very true , but if we girls are ready to change our attitude then boys should also adjust in relation to make it long lasting.
    PS: Eagerly waiting for a sequel. 🙂 🙂
    All the Best…

  • Dhriti

    Although I feel like hitting you..But I have to confess… U r just so true in saying all these

  • Abhilash CHoudhary

    why is my comment deleted ??

  • Hi,
    I am thankful for my hubby sharing your article about women/ men relationship issue. for all what you say….. all is perfectly TRUE. no one is perfect that women/men can maintain the good relationship. they are some is ending for break up because of lack of good communication or called it LOVE AND TRUST.. but if the real LOVE is work out to both sides i’m sure 100% the relationship is growing and survive…… LOVE means accept and care everything about your partner,Trust means you have confidence that your partner will never break your trust, RESPECT means understand and respect individuality for partner’s when it comes for freedom. your post i learn a lots and thank you so much for sharing. i hope i can read some more in your post next time. Lambi umar ho jaye 🙂

  • monika

    found it really awesome.
    though being a girl ego toh hurt hota hi hai bt i hv to admit dat more or less above points r true…..
    got alot leg pulling bcz of this article just waiting for ur othr side of d coin to cum.. so dat i can also b at par in discussion wid my buddies on this topic in grlz favour

  • Guest

    ek dil se likha sir ji .. honest piece of writing..

  • ek dil se likha sir ji .. an honest piece of writing..

  • kritika

    akash you are the best….have taken some points frm this and wl always bear thm in mind….

  • Guest

    hey akash

  • Amit

    hey akash … i m being in a relationship with a girl frm last 1nd half yr .. we were very happy with ecah other .. bt suddenly frm last 1 month wat happnd to her she is ignoring me a lot .. few days ago i went to meet her ,,bt she doesnt want to meet me .. and saying that ,,i dont want any bf ,, i want to build my carrier ,, i m vry happy with my family .. no 1 can give me that much of happiness wich my family gives.. wat to do yaar ..plz helo me ..i do love her a lot and dont wanna loose her ..plz help akash..?

    • AkashGautam


      Only one suggestion – u do the same that she did. Move on, get her out of your system and build a career.

      You become fabulous – she and many more will die to be with you!

      True you loved her – but love has to be both sided. Else, it is a waste of time. And one life is all we have – to Rise & shine.

      Kaabil bano – kaamyaabi aur ladki jhak maar ke ayegi 🙂

      • Amit

        hey akash …

        thankx a lot yaar ..
        bt i m nt able to frgrt her … wat can i do fr that …
        i jus dont want to loose her … plz sugess smething to me ….?

  • akansha bhargava

    ”Really true, i w’ll 2 try to follow” i hv attnded ur seminar in gwl n m a big fan of uuu……. misng u n plzz try cmng gwl again………!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • arwa

    waiting for the sequel! Badly!!!

  • Antara

    hello sir,
    i must say all ur blogs r commendable..
    i attended your seminar at indore..since then ive been reading ur blogs..u have made me a better n happier person..
    thank you so much.. 🙂

  • varsha manurkar

    very true………..!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ritashu

    sirr wat if d guy dusnt let us check his cel at ol ?????

    • AkashGautam

      Why would you want to do that in the first place!

  • Isha Das

    Hey Akash..
    I loved this post of yours ‘coz it’s true to the core! 😛 We ladies,may deny it but,secretly,all of us know that no matter how practical and mature we try to be (or we actually are),the typical possessive school-girl resides within us. 🙂
    Sometimes it’s cute but sometimes it can get on the nerves! (we know that as well :P)
    Eagerly waiting for your sequel.. hope its as realistic as this one.
    looking forward to a reply..
    Best wishes! 🙂

  • Ishita Bhatia

    Sequel on ‘Why relationships fail because of Men’ coming soon!…..????? WHEN…

  • Abby

    Hi Akash,
    I agree with your views to some extent, but based on my experiences. Guys like bitches. I was very straight forward and practical girl but I was single for a long time. When I started showing attitude, guys not even got interested in me, they in fact started competing with each other to win my heart. Now I have an amazing BF 🙂

  • Shikhar Goyal

    Its very true, we all want to have a person with whom we care share emotions more than the bed. And that can be done only when the best half (man or woman) is inclined more towards the person than towards the relationship. A little bit of open mindedness, A little bit of fun, A little less of overprotectiveness and a little less of expectation adds to the comfort level of a relationship. Mr. Gautam, i really liked your post and personally i feel the same things should be followed by men as well. Too much possessiveness, too many questions, too much expectations makes things worst for a woman as well. Thankyou so much for a wonderful article.

  • Kratika

    That’s really a very nice post…
    it’s surely gonna help us improve our relationship…
    but it would had been better if u would have added a few tips for men too about what their women feel or like…

  • sid

    my belief on relationship is over…….u may spend sleepless nights caring and listening to the dramas ….but in the end you recieve one dialogue … tum mere saath sirf galat kiya hai …. they are with u till they need you then you are just an obstruction in thier lives… a headache

  • manvi

    Sir, it’s wonderful….personally tried to avoid such stupidities…. it has become far better … thankuuuuu….. is the sequel of this bolg already been posted??? eagerly waiting 🙂 🙂

  • Dakshita

    it’s a good read… liked it…
    Though not much improvements needed in my case… Having my own life, goals and career is what keeps me away from that much of drama…:)

  • Neha

    Hi Akash,
    Read ur post today. u mentioned that sequel will come soon. so m waiting for that.

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