In a recent interview on a famous talk show, actor Salman Khan’s brother said, “He is Salman because he has put in that effort. Every day after shoot, he would come back and hit the gym. I was often too tired and left it for tomorrow. I think that tomorrow hasn’t come for me yet. He is where he is because of his will power.” Ditto goes for anyone / everyone else who has become a rockstar in any domain.
My point is simple- ‘There is a period in your life (of some 20 years) when you need to give in your very, very, very best to your self growth. If in that period; for whatever reasons (emotional, relationship issues, random daydreaming, laziness, inferiority complexes, casualness, mobile phone addiction, putting so much energy to look cool to others, bad company or even habits as drugs or random sex); you are not able to offer life your best- then you are very likely to drag it for the rest of your years. The question here is with such a default setting of habits where will your life inadvertently reach “bees saal baad” (20 years later)?
I am not saying that there is an age to changing. You can change and turnaround anytime. There are hundreds of stories where people started at 40 or even 50. But the law of probability & the law of youthful energy believe that 15 to 35 is the period where you keep the highest probability to make the Big Bang to happen to your One Life. It is like your very best chance creation time.
In 15 to 35 – it is just not easy but there is no loophole in these absolute laws of nature.
Goes a very famous Native American legend, called the Cherokee Legend. Better known as the legend of two wolves.
A child went to his grandfather with a lot of anger for his friend who had done him great injustice. The old man told him a small yet meaningful anecdote. Something that would forever make it easy for him to take decisions. He told him, “Son, I too feel angry at people who are not just to me with no remorse in their heart. It feels like there are two wolves battling inside me. One is always angry, hungry for a fight. The other one is just, wants to live in harmony and doesn’t take offense where it is not intended.”
The child asked, “In this battle of the wolves, which one wins?”
He said, “The one you feed!”
Profound isn’t it? But it does not always have to be angry wolf vs a happy wolf. These are just metaphors. These wolves represent all duality of life that we face in the form of our temptations; in the form of today and tomorrow, in the form of short term vs long term. If you think about it, all of these essentially represent the same – a choice between what seems so EASY & tempting for you to do and what is probably RIGHT for you to do.
These wolves represent the gap between your present state and your desired state of being. The latter wolf is standing on a farther end of the road. And it is very tempting to stay with the first wolf. It is comfortable. Why take so much trouble and go the extra miles now! We will eventually get there right?
Wrong. If you keep feeding your present state, if you keep feeding your short term self, the long term self slowly decays. And your self growth slows down exponentially. If you keep going to that party, and keeping taking selfies or having that drink & thinking about creative ways to flirt; you will not get time to read that book / practice that art form / work on that passion of yours. “Kal kar lenge yaar!” is so easy.
Buddy! Your time to work on yourself is now. Before it is too late. The wolf has probably moved farther away and you are not that agile to catch up with it. Not that you shouldn’t let your hair down once in a while. But if that’s all you do, you will soon be letting yourself down as well.
Our biggest irony is that we know everything ‘what is right’ but we still do not do it. If you do not conquer your restlessness & casualness early in life- you will develop an amazing power to exactly do ‘what doesn’t need to be done’. Scary! Isn’t it? But yes- this is how the law works. As a Motivational Speaker for the youth, I get to meet so many young people in workshops and college festivals. And as a Corporate Trainer, I also get to meet their older versions. The difference is stark yet the similarities are what shock me the most. Their issues change, the way they handle it does not. Majority of both these generations try to drown their problems in greasy behaviour and habit addictions. “Mudda naya, soch wahi” 🙂 . Will you be able to go somewhere new if you keep taking the same road- the easy road of instant moksha?
Your short term self will want to have that sexy conversation with someone late night. But if your long term self demands that you sleep early & thence get up early to put in those 30 mins of exercise before you start your awesome day, you decide which wolf to feed! And baby steps towards this every day self growth will count. They just so silently add up. They create in you that notorious confidence to keep on moving more and more towards the right wolf.
The world around us is so full of sexy, attractive garbage (the booby trap of illusions). In this entire mad race for a sexy & a better today, the question that remains forgotten is – is this taking you forward? Because if you are not moving forward in life, you most certainly are going backward. And then suddenly all of a sudden near 40s; you will feel so much left behind. And then maybe also feel clueless ‘How to take it up from here’. Yes! You can turn around from your 40s as well. But then you will never have those juices, that creativity and that time which 15-35 offered you.
These wolves are amazing. They will not only show you the gap you need to fill, but will also tell you whether you have the character and courage to do it. They will tell you who you truly are. Look your temptations in the eye before you beat them. Give in, if you have to. But learn from it and do not give up. Because a decayed long term self means a drawer full of unachieved goals and a dissatisfactory life in general!
Once you figure out which wolf ACTUALLY makes real sense; you will always and always choose it over the other. But the question remains- how soon are you going to actually figure it out. ‘Bees Saal Baad’ could be too late.
15 to 35- This is where life gets decided the most. This is where habits get formed and take permanent shapes. This is where you build or loose character. This is where you lay the foundation of all sorts of wealth creation. This is where you can go easily wrong & lose your mental health in so many ways. Take a call. Rather take a very strong call as everything is within you.
Get into that zone between 15 and 35. And damn it, stay put in it. One life!
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