Trust me- ‘You are very confusing to a young person of today’.
I am a spiritual adventurist. I have the right to seek answers at my age. I met this aunty at a spiritual retreat who at the age of 65 was doing the same. I don’t want to do it at my 65. I want to be practicing then instead of seeking solutions to disparities in existence.
I find the spread of spirituality and the concept of God confusing me more than simplifying.
A Buddhist monk praying in Tibet or a Muslim praying in Dubai or a Hindu praying in Varanasi most probably see one God only. Then why do the maulvis, priests and the pujaris behave so weird trying to push their faiths (Gods) ahead of others.
There is too much on the menu and too many contradictions. I am a Hindu. For me there is so much to process: there are Navratras, Shiv ratri, there is a Kul Devtaa, ancestral pooja, Astrology, Vaastu, ghosts, black magic etc etc. There are so many Devi Devtas and concepts to follow and adhere to. Fatiguing it is God. Isn’t it?
Islam doesn’t believe in re-incarnation and allows meat eating which is contradicting the sayings of other religions. How do we explain this God?
Krishna in Geeta says- ‘Forget everyone and pray to me’. What about others?
They say ‘Guru bina Gati nahin’. I guess this was created to make people / masses remain dedicated to their Gurus. Else there would have been a fear of follower discursion.
The crores who take a dip in Kumbh Mela — I am sure NOTHING HAPPENS. Am I right God?
All the saints who walked past the earth and left their bodies- where are they? Is there an astral world above? If I pray to Sai Baba and he grants my wish; where is he doing it from?
If God is in every person; then why should I remember God and moreover why would I do bad karma?
When I recite the same mantra continuously (without even knowing the meaning of words in it sometime) — dear God: Are you not likely to get bored listening to the same thing every day?
You say ‘Do Karma’ and you also say ‘Remember me’, if I just ‘remember you’ and do not do karma- ‘Will anything happen’? I find these two slightly contrasting. The advisors will say — ‘Do both’. Is it that easy?
They say — ‘We are all children of God’. I am a father myself. I cannot see my kid in pain even due to a minor thing. Then how can you see such extreme suffering existing on this planet. Where were you God when Nirbhaya was being raped in Delhi or when hundreds of innocent people die in calamities as Earthquakes / Tsunamis?
The one who created the world must have been ONE very very creative person. Look at the nature around you and you’ll understand what I am saying. He made nature so disparately beautiful. I am sure that creator cannot approve of boring concepts as finding God through corrupt pundits, rituals, Jagratas, putting stones in fingers, offering money to God etc etc.
Wherever we are born; the beliefs of that household become our guiding principles e.g. someone becomes a Mata devotee, other person becomes a Krishna devotee or a Ganesha devotee or a particular Guru devotee. When a child like that goes out to the world he ends up suffering from multiplicity of attention to different Gods & creates more questions for self than answers. No one credible is there to explain him the fundas. He sees his own parents operating God out of either fear or greed.
We are unknowingly getting fooled out of our own being. The original information when it travels from one source to the next and further it is likely to lose its pristine form / originality e.g. I saw my son putting his book on his forehead as his foot had accidently touched the book. I am sure he had seen people at home / in school doing the same. Someone hundreds of years back made this rule to make people respect the books. Very similarly —have we not done extreme distortion of original facts in almost every other thing?
I do not trust that watering the Peepal tree will lead us to God. It must have originally started as a concept to ‘care for trees / nature’.
Does not the concept of 84 lakh births sound fictional?
If God is everywhere; what was the need to make mosques / temples/ churches?
There are complexities and in fightings within religions about the definitions & interpretation of God. A Krishna devotee doesn’t want to understand a Shiv devotee. There are Shias and Sunnis, Catholics and Protestants amongst Muslims and Christians.
God – Are you really there or are you a concept created by man to keep him in check from going wanton. Most of the present day spiritual rules look like as if they were done to make the world / man behave better.
Partial knowledge is dangerous as we usually are not fearless when we acquire it. We see Godly concepts emotionally and not logically.
I have a clear cut special doubt about today’s so called ‘God men’. The self proclaimed Gurus with massive empires and entourage. They work on the fears, gullibility of masses. Only emotional, weak and needy people flock to them usually. Without naming any – majority of them are embroiled in controversies of some kind or the other. They have acquired huge acres of land across cities; spend lavishly on their birthdays and yes they also do some charitable work to keep their credibility going.
I have wandered seeking my answers but I am still not satiated. I took possibly all courses, learnt meditations, read books, spoke to saints, seniors but every time I got disillusioned more and more. They themselves were not clear.
I do not want to fear you God. I want to love you. Trust me- ‘I WANT to’. I want to feel drenched in your love during deep meditations. I just do not want to pray out of fear or out of worldly demands.
I want to do charity not because some pundit or astrologer has told me but because I feel like doing it.
Yes! You are definitely there somewhere. Something within me tells me this. How else could have a complex human body or the prodigal mother nature gotten done like the way it is.
I will not give up. I will keep on seeking answers be it in intense meditations or from the ones who are ahead of me in this path. I am sure the fog created by human beings shall cease very soon. Confusion is the beginning of clarity. I am sure my answers are coming…