Almost 15 years back I stepped out of my cozy family environment into a professional world. I then thought- my love for my family shall never wane. I will keep on loving & caring for them; khuch bhi ho jaaye chahe !

It did not happen like that. My intentions did not change / reduce — but the: Blindness of youth, Busyness of Duniyaadari , the hunger of ‘doing more well’ distanced me much from my family. I lost my father in 2003 and I took a lot of time to come to terms with this loss. My deep desires to do a million things with/ to my Dad — had come to an abrupt end. I could not do any of ‘this’ or ‘that’ to/ for him.

My mom is a doctor and she lives in a beautiful hill town- Dharamshala in Himachal Pradesh (very far from wherever I work).  I thought I will love my Maa more now and give her everything- my love, my care and an emotionally strong life. In spite of my best intentions — I was regularly failing in that also every passing year. I kept on doing more and more well in my own life; but was just not finding the right ways and the right times to express / validate my intentions with my mom.

Today -as I live forward — I see my days converting into weeks; weeks into months & then years too are just flowing by. The inescapable whirlpool of life is growing deeper & noisily charming; every passing year .I helplessly see my purposefulness about a lot of beautiful things in life especially ‘relationships’ getting veneered by my busyness.

The little I understand about relationships — ‘Whenever communication diminishes between ANY relationship; everything else too diminishes’. What’s the point of LOVING anyone in heart; but never finding time to be with him / her?

There were so many times in my growing up years when I thought ‘what my parents are saying is not charmingly modern and befitting for me’. There were times; trust me- when I felt irritatingly annoyed too with their sermons. There definitely were times when I thought ‘they were interfering; as I have the right to live my own life- my own damn way’. A few lessons in retrospect; I learnt from all such times:-

1)  You may in the end -do whatever (of your own mind); but at least LISTEN to your parents COMPLETELY. Give a very patient hearing to whatever they are saying. They NEED to be HEARD. Trust me- they might surprise you with better logic (if you listen patiently). Listening / Hearing them is important; as most Indian parents complain of ‘Ye Sunta taq nahin hai’.  This will satisfy their ego to some extent at least. I could have made many better decisions in the last 2 decades had I genuinely heard the logic of my parents.

2)  You want to kill the sensitivity inside your parent’s hearts- then do one thing: ‘SHOUT at them for whatever reasons e.g. stupid worldly reasons etc’. You are crushing your luck when you do that. You fog the blessing route when you do that. You are too short sighted; if you do that. I did shout at my parents many a time. I feel like jumping from the roof top with the regret of those times. Given a re-take; I will just smile and hug them even if they are shouting at me. This will change everything. This is the magic code.

3) Technological advancements are shortening the generation gaps like never before. Yes — you are seeing the modern world more than your parents are/ did. Making them silently feel inferior because of their lack of exposure to modernity is tantamount to a sin. Upgrade them. Make them feel a part of your world. Gift them the brands. Take them out for dinners. Shop with them. The walls will crumble. The distances will shorten. The cold ice shall melt. All they need is your TIME and RESPECT. Your doing well in your own life will get amplified more when your parents are with you; when you route your success through them. You will never feel alone then. You will never feel the need for emotional reliance on stupid boyfriends/ girlfriends; when you are rocking in your relationship with your parents. Carry your parents in your heart. Trust me they are not that unstylish. You can make a statement by doing that; as no one is doing that.

4) Never ever make your parents insecure in their old age. It is your job / duty / responsibility to be their security. Did not your mother take the full responsibility to treat you well at all times when you needed her? Just because you have got a wee bit modern(because of her Duaa only) — should you shirk your HIGHEST responsibility?

5)  Stop continuously demanding things from them. Do not make a donkey face- if they do not meet your demands. They are NOT obligated to do everything for you- just because they gave you birth. Do not compare your parents with other’s parents. Every family has different stories and compulsions. Go and work yourself and fulfill your demands/ needs. What happened to your ‘Cool Dude image’ which you present to the world; but become a cribbing beggar when in front of your parents for your demands? Do it yourself naa?   Ask not what your parents can do for you. Ask — ‘what you can do for them?’ They will themselves keep care of ‘your more than basic needs’; as they are your parents.

6)  Indian moms are the most loving and most melodramatic of all. 99% of them love the movie ‘Baghban’. 100% of them live in assumptions e.g. ‘My son / daughter is sweet / sober / seedha but he has a tedha and kameena friend who wastes his time and gives him wrong advice’. Your parents have done so much for you. They need your gratitude and not your stupid attitude.

If you have been a mediocre son/ daughter like me: Do not feel guilty. All of us are WIPs (Work in Progress). Decide today that ‘You will be the best that you can be to your parents. Surprise yourself and more importantly surprise them with your decision to be genuinely good a child’. You will be a rockstar then soon. Divine grace will flow through your life path (Personally experienced)

RESPONSIBLEChildren can never love their parents as much as parents love them … But maybe children could put an effort to reduce the margin. Ok you have career goals, honeymoon goals, money goals etc.  But -‘being the most loving son / daughter; that the world has known will not be a bad goal at all…I have decided to make up for all those years ; when I wasn’t … How about you ?

You may be fighting with the world to become the best in it. Trust me — if there is one battle worth winning — it will be to defeat the duniyaadari to create time for your old parents. The best gift you can give to your parents all year round is a feeling of YOUR RESPONSIBLE presence in their lives.

My mom is fiercely independent & doesn’t need anything from me. I find great satisfaction in making her fly along to my workplaces. I love it when she sits through my events/ workshops. I am the happiest when I ‘dine ’/ ‘coffee’ with her at the best restaurants in India. I become the happiest person in the world — ‘whenever I try to make her live FIRST CLASS’. I have decided to spend a major chunk of my life’s time with my Mom (even at the cost of my career). She is my mom. I fondly call her – Mona Darling!  

Mom and I

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About Author

Akash Gautam is a Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer in India. Hundreds of Top Corporates like Google, CIPLA, Vodafone, McKinsey & Co., Maruti, HDFC, RIL, M&M & premier colleges like IIMs, IITs, SRCC etc go to him whenever they need a refreshing, big bang impact. Write to usWrite to us to know how he can transform your Team.

  • Moonka Vishal

    sir i simply loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee u for this blog..it seemed someone echoing me..thanks a ton..i too hv done sm mstakes and in process of rectifying dem forever

  • sonal

    bestest blog so far..lovd it..thankew so much for dis…

  • sonal

    bestest post so far…lovd it….thankew so much for dis..:)

  • Without a doubt it should be an Eye opener for all.Fabulous work yet again sir.Maa Pita se badhkar koi ho hi nai sakta iss duniya me.Jan ni janmbhumishcha swargadapi gariyasi

  • zuheib

    gr88 once again…….hats off to u akash bhai……awsummmm blogpost….:-)

  • Sir Simply love it hats off for you.this article is really a eye opener.I read your article regular & I like them so much and I can say it’s the best article so far:-)
    Thanks Akash Sir

  • Pradatt gautam

    sir, apka ye blog ab tak ka sabse achha blog hai, apne bilkul sahi nabz pakdi h samaj ki ajkal k generation ko iski bhot jaroorat hai……………………………………………………………………………………………….bhot bhot dhanya vad is blog k liye

  • Jhanvi

    It’s beautiful Akash. We need to read this every time we fight with our parents. Thank you for this post.

  • Ila jain

    luvd every bit of it..

  • superlyk sir

  • Luv uu sir.. Thanks for being with us.. i also did some mistakes like ‘continuously demanding things from them’ but literally now i don’t have any issue with them and d reason behind it’s…ONE ND ONLY YOU SIR..:))

  • SIr… touching..rlly aweinspiring!!!

  • Shaivalini91

    awesome blog Sir….after reading this i really feel lucky to have a beautiful relationship with my parents…

  • Sonalika

    awesome as always…..thanku sir 🙂

  • Saurabh

    love it sir….

  • Devyan

    I just felt like …some clouds of ambiguity……moving away…impressive…1

  • love this… u but mai chaah k bhi anpni mona darling ko hug bhi nai kar sakta……. miss u ma…. and thak u sir for this lovly…. bloggg………

  • Piyush

    Thanks a lot!

  • Ayushi Jain

    best blogg ever … <3 my mona darling 😀

  • waca-waca

    you give time to your Mom cuz now u are successful how do you think are we gonna give time to our parents when we are struggling ourselves…obv my parents don’t need anything from me but that is not how it works out. I will be satisfied only when I give them something back in return and giving them my time isn’t tantamount to that “something” or “first class”. So to reach that stage we have to be there first!

  • Aashish Anand

    One of The Best blogpost so far !

    Loved it , as it resonates with me. Strikes the chord…

    Thank you Sir, for this beautiful read!

  • Ritika20

    Ohhh Great Sir 🙂 ,,,,,,,…..!!!! Have No words !!!!!!!

  • priya

    thank u sir
    fr enlightenment 🙂

  • Ritika Roshan

    ohhhh Great Sir ji 🙂 have no words …!!!!! Thank you 🙂

  • Prerna Joshi

    thanks a lot…reallly nice…..

  • vinti agarwal

    wowww sir …….. this 1 is the best blog 🙂
    love u for this
    i ll promise to be a gud daughter from now on 😀 😀

  • Virendera1992

    bs karo ji rulaoge kya.i love my mom and my papa very much.my best friend is my papa.

  • Hanzla Rahman

    This Blog should really set the benchmark for all of us..Awesomely written..:) ..One of ur Best so far !!

  • Abdul Wahid

    Sir, but in today life everyone wants to make money so that we have forget most important work which is known as parents “SEWA”………..it seem to me Money is not important rather than” Parents SEWA”…..// I like ur Blog……

  • Sweet Chocsanju

    hii akash….just luv every chunk of word dat u say…so very true….

  • Gourav Yadav

    Simply osum…it just need one to implement things which u could not able to do..Surely,I”ll do..:)

  • Vikas sharma

    suuppppppeer hit .. awesome…. i will improve,,, promise..thanks aaakaassh…love u brother

  • Arunima

    Yet another beautiful blog post … A Dil say one 🙂

    My mom will be the happiest if I do even half of these 😛

  • airon

    best… this article is must for us.. the young generation ……….. very nice sir… and a bit emotional too 🙂

  • Amit Behera

    Loved the wonderful piece of writing Sir.. and only one word comes in my mind for you and that is RESPECT!!! I loved the 2nd point you have mentioned and I’ll make sure i never shout at my parents. Thanks for the realization.

  • Vipeshgarg

    very beautiful!!!

  • priya

    akash sir great thought , ijust love this blog and whatever you said in this blog is absolutely right i will definitely follow whatever you said .

    thank you so much sir for this blog

  • Pavneet Singh

    Nice one Sir Ji bhai maza aagaya

  • Java

    thank u sir 4 d post …. its just d fact dat we people miss out n our buzy schedule….
    thanx 4 the reminder 🙂

  • Diwakar Ranjan Vishwas

    AWESOME PAGE OF UR…LOVE IT….UR BLOG…NICE U ROCKZZZZ..AROUND DA WORLD….WOOO..:):)..SIR

  • ESHAN UPASANI

    THE BEST(EST) BLOG I HAVR EVER READ OR WILL EVER READ IN FUTURE………………. THANKS FOR SUCH A ENLIGHTENING BLOG……..

  • sir one of the best and most needed blog
    I always expected that u would come up with such a blog .
    most of us forget n mistreat our parents ,which is shameful on our part.
    Thanks a lot sir .it would be an eye opener for most of your followers 🙂

  • Sushilbaral100

    Simply no word………

  • friend

    thanks Aakash for writing this blog…today, while trying to make my kids and hubby happy and above all giving myself all the damn lavish pampering, i too forget that even a small gesture of love and care everyday can give immense happiness to my old mom who is living all alone after my dad expired. Thanks once again for reminding me …

  • Shilpi

    we kno this deep down our heart that we love thm so much………….but expression is not that regular…..
    really……change is must….
    thanks for revoking…..
    grt job..

  • Bharat

    Fantastic.!!!!! Today’s youth needs to be reminded of this time and again.

  • Mukul Lakhera

    Never read anything better!!

  • Hi Sir,
    Love this article very much…it make me realize that i have done some mistakes so now going to rectify it..

  • Khaitanshruti

    best blog till data…:)

  • Khaitanshruti

    best blog till date* 🙂

  • Avishekckthakkur

    my “dilsay” thanks to you sir!!!!

    🙂

  • Sweet19nidhi

    sir its really a motivating blog…..inspire us to do something for our parents……………..

  • Sach siyaane kehnde ne… Maapeyaa di charnii.. Jannatt vasdii…. 🙂

  • Sandythinking

    seriously one of your best so far….will help aplenty being ‘dil se’ connected with our parents.

  • Abhishek Sharma

    Just one word……..THANKS!! 🙂

  • Pratik Agarwal

    hope i do use whatever i read today!! my mom has been terrific for me throughout and the way i treat her is simply mind boggling. i could not have been worse to her but still, i decide to change henceforth and it’s never too late to change for your mom

  • Dhriti

    Thankyou sir….after reading this, …now i’ve acquired the highest qualification…thanks

  • Akshay

    hats off akash sir . i have no words to say simply awesome .

  • Sumitjha89

    loved it…

  • Minikhanna15

    truly awesum sir…thanku for suach a great inspiration…. i must say its a life CHANGING blog…… one of d finest blogs have ever read 🙂

  • Lifeparivartan

    A salute to you. ?.

  • commendable!

  • inspiring…motivating….honestly i m below average when it comes to sharing thing with them, respecting them, or any thing related to my parents….no doubt k i love them a lot the thing is i can’t see me in the life style that they have planned for me…i simply can’t…..hope i can change my behaviour towards them by learning few things from your blog…..thnax a lot.

  • Indu Karunakaran

    beautiful… so many things going on in mind now…. dont know 4m where to start…. but feeling great thinking m start it 4m now to make them feel every sec how much i love them n what they mean to me
    thanks sir

  • Nazish khan

    bestest ever sir!!

  • Kawaljeet

    no one can take place of parents..
    piyo warga hamdard koi na,
    maa warga koi pyar nahi.
    Thank you Sir,for this beautiful blog

  • mona jaiswal

    akash sir what a beautiful thought……………….

  • upshi grover

    u r very right akash i love dis thought of urs ..tody v r itna jada busy in our own lives and bulshit issues lk pyar and relation k v frgt dt our fst and foremost lov r our parents agr hum unhe pyar nae krskte to kisi bhar vale ko kese krskte h……………hats of

  • saurabh nawalgaria

    This one is amazing Sir, i feel privileged to read it!!!

  • priyanka

    claps:)

  • The more I grow older myself, the more I appreciate my parents 🙂 really nice post! 🙂

  • Vipul Shrivastava

    Such a Great blog!!
    I loved it, now it’s my 4th time when m again and again reading it…

  • hey dude u are awesome…
    i read ur blog today for the first time… mona darling and and janam samjha karo n will just like to say …. EK DUM SAHI BANDA HAI TU DUDE….

    n about mona darling one thing i would say now yougsters have started giving more importance to their gf or bf who were stangers to them…in comparision to the parents who spend their whole life to see us smile… we dnt have time for our sick mother bt we keep on calling our gf …jaanu how are now did u take med etc…..

    all they need is our love n respect n care… cant we give them that…to the mortal gods .

  • * * * * * ( 5 stars ) 🙂

  • mayank makholia

    wonderful wonderful and just wonderful……………

  • amazing 1 sir jeee

  • Jyotsna

    awesome blog………….Every youth should read it n respect,care n luv their parents

  • nikita jaiswal

    wow!!…standing applause for this mind blowing blog!!

  • prachi singhal

    ur blogs are jus awesum sir…

  • pooja

    nice post 🙂 thanks for motivating and explaining us importance of parents in our life

  • Killer!!!!straight from the heart!

  • just awesome..

  • Kanchan Chaturvedi

    I don’t have words ..stunning sir..i have liked almost all ur blog posts bt this one has hit the wicket..such amazing use of words, emotions..as if a best friend is telling this in the language that today’s youth understand..straightforward and “cut the crap” language. 🙂

  • The post is simply awesome. We are grateful to you for such insights. Loved it. 🙂

  • rohit

    akash u simply rock … this blog was more effective than any of those influential movies!! thank u ..really!!

  • thnx a lot sir i needed it as i had a tiff with my mom today n that too on mother’s day

  • swagata

    u inspire us so much sirji!. thanks!…n love you ma! 🙂

  • Akash sir …u have been teaching us to live life b’fully…ur a also a motherly fig to us ..Thanku for being there….but i would impart one more msg to the girls in their wat they call as ‘Marrying age’….they think that now as they r independant and working…there is only one goal in life nd dat is to get married…..nd nt thinking even once that their parents need dem…they continue to change their priorities frm parents to the would be/boyfriend/friends…nd dat is d time our parents need us more….v move to another life and our more concerned abt their future plans rather than considering their parent’s plans too…they have been for us thru our lives…y can’t v be there wen v hv become capable of it.

  • Sumit Sharma

    I love my Mum… And it Made me fall in Love with her… All over again!!! Happy Mother’s Day to every beautiful mum on this planet and to every nalayak child too…

  • mappkk

    This is a completely individual’s opinion about his parents..Not everyone is very satisfied if their parents call them “a goodie kid”..thats not all actually which one wants..if you develop your own set of goals, and mentality, then its best to keep mum about whatever they say but not accept all of their ideologies cos the world changes at a rapid rate..
    And for loving your parents, every child born on this earth loves their parents cos its cos of them that they are in existence, so no need to demonstrate so much and increase expectations from your side..there are somethings which you could do to show your love even if you are staying far away from them is by just have connection with them..

  • narender sharma

    deeply touched Akash dear son…. i m proud of u

  • Dis is soooo touching…..Thanks a ton sir…U r D Best…..God bless u..:)

  • Debanjan

    This is not “ONE OF THE BEST” but “THE BEST” blogpost you have ever written !

  • honey gupta

    Thank you akash, you make me cry, wonderful blog 🙂 🙂

  • Praveen

    I could relate to most of the points mentioned here & i agree to every single solution suggested….not that i’m not a good son…but may be i just didnt know how to portray it in right sense…indeed fresh & something i could connect to…Thanks mate!!!…btw…i wife’s name is Monika…& i call her by same name…’Monika Darling’…:)

  • Abhi Baikar

    I love this blog. Thank you man.

  • Srishti Gambhir

    Awesome words sir… touched the bottom of my soul… loveddd it……..

  • Rahul.Amravati143

    Ye Sunta Taq Nahin Hai….
    Well Thats True….
    But Blog Says More… So Good… And Wise..

  • rajee

    Akki I luv ur blogs…..they r always meaningful n real. This1 was very real what we actually do with our parents. Gratitude not ur attitude was best 🙂

  • akshay

    thanks sir this blog will help me …..
    now i will respect my parents

  • PARESH RAM

    Salute u for this awesome blog, it’s really impacting my mind and a change you expect from everyone, i will. thank you sir.

  • Nishant Ranjan

    Heart touching and emotional post. One of the best. i read almost all blog of this site.

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