Whenever a client books me for work at a new city — the first two things I do is- Google about it and know about the best Parks / Lakes in there. Of late, I have stopped doing this- for I can brag about having travelled India; some 3-4 times. Why do I search for parks / lakes? Well — I also suffer a few addictions. One of them is a ‘Jogging Track’; which is situated -the closest to the nature.
Be it the ‘Company Bag’ of Amritsar or ‘The Stadium’ at Guwahati, ‘The Sukhna Lake’ at Chandigarh or the ‘Backwater’ area of Kerela – it actually doesn’t matter — the Indian Joggers Park doesn’t change much
Below are some of my observations out of the good amount of time spent at ‘Indian Joggers Parks’ in the last 10+ years.
There are many species of Runners / Walkers e.g. Young single boys, Young almost single girls, Lovers, Porn movie budding stars, apparently married couples, almost married couples, Aunties, Uncles….
Lovers are of the two kinds:-
1) SHOULDER LOVERS (Day Light Lovers):-
These young lovers are either at the beginning stage or at the exhaustive stage of the ‘Love-Lust curve of the Relationship’. The lady is keeping her head on the smelly armpit shoulder of the boy (at the end of his day’s work). The lady can / does remain in that shoulder position for hours. Her one hand is holding the hand of his beloved either to keep that in check or out of sheer love. I did try to overhear the conversations at times. They ranged from ‘What do you like about me’ to ‘Bachon key naam’ to ‘Aaj Raat ka kya (plan hai) to “Tum bade badmaash ho” !
2) SUNSET LOVERS (SNIFFER DOG TYPE OF LOVERS):-
I wonder what fun do these young boys & girls get when they try to get into & smell each other’s necks (only) in side corners of parks & lakes.Do they compare whose perfume is costlier? What? Their role model is a ‘Sniffer Dog’; for they show all characteristics of the same. They would just keep on smelling their partner’s neck in one corner of the park / lake. They would just….keep on doing the shameless act ; as if exploring the neck for some fissile material. The more experienced ones have become extra shameless and are not affected by the fact that people are seeing them. A new kind of chalan(fine) has become quite popular in the parks / lakes. This is called ‘Love chalan’ or ‘Sniffer Dog chalan’. A fat cop is usually on a lookout for such sunset lovers to meet his monetary monthly target. Over hearing the conversations / negotiations between sunset lovers and the policeman can be really funny at times. I am very sure the policeman has rates set in his mind about the chalan value depending on the intensity of the ‘compromising position’; these sunset lovers are found/ caught in, and he is generally in no mood to ‘compromise’..
Other kinds of Joggers:-
MOBILE JOGGERS: –
This species believes in the fitness of their handsets more than their own fitness. While running / walking they are continuously on the phone. They are just talking and talking or SMSing or these days Facebooking / Tweeting. In short,they want their virtual world to run with them..
SINGLE BOYS: –
Their eyeballs run more than their feet ; as they are silently but continuously doing a ‘Furniture study’ of the women running on the ‘Jogging Track’. They think —“So fit naa??!!What do they do yaar ??”..Joggers generally start their life with this category..
These are usually found up north in Punjab etc. It is amazing they are eating while in a park / at a lake. If they do not do then ; let me vouch that this species will hit the next calorie shop within minutes of the completion of jog. Their strongest belief is- ‘Law of Preservation and Re-cyclicity of energy’. I observed long queues outside the famous Giani Tea Shop in Amritsar early morning with people with family packs (not 6 packs) devouring Kachoris and Omelets at 6:30 am even. At Sukhna Lake in Chandigarh the ‘Use Me’ bins need an emptying every 2-3 hours on a holiday.
Ooops ! This is the most complex species to understand while she runs. My understanding makes me believe the following:-
– Fat Girls with bad geographies are constantly staring at fitter girls with ‘Italian furniture setting’. Thinking — ‘Aek din main bhi aisi hee banoongie’..
– Some young Aunties come to parks in Saris. They are over decorated for parks and look like ‘Dusshehra ki Jhankis’. While running,they fear more about the sari coming off ..Or, they just don’t run,but do some kind of a senior citizen ramp walk..
– Slightly more modern aunties come in printed salwaar kameez with a ‘NIKE’/ ADIDAS kaa Joota in the feet. They look very much in a hurry as it seems that the world in their homes runs because of them.They probably run because their fashionable, party going daughters find them embarrassing ..
– The most fantastic species is the ‘Young running Lady with a Dog’. Normally she sports a ‘branded apparel’. Even her dog / bitch will have a highly literate name, and even the doggy wears a branded strap or a jacket. Normally she is the point of attention of young boys and even her dog is being eagerly noticed by the opposite gendered dogs (who men are ferrying). The young boys feel-“Ladki ke dil ka raasta uske Kutte se ho kar jata hai”. Everything looks classy till about a time she is seen in a corner with her dog doing a ‘Raise its Leg’ act.
Such uncles come in groups. Usually one/ two Uncles in the group are very talkative and apparently they look / sound like the ‘Solution Providers’ to the entire set of the world’s problems. The points of discussions usually revolve around —Children’s education, Marriage, Pension, Government and at times memories from the salad days. These days such uncles even fear that Mr. Bachhan may come to the park with an insurance policy.
Why do we need to make a stupid fashion display of our weaker emotive selves; when at a Joggers Park ?
Just think of the images of some superbly fit individuals e.g. Bipasha Basu, Federer , Jonty Rodes, Beckham etc. etc. Now think of yourself sweating in a park and being linearly focused about building your own stamina and muscle. A good dream- Yes !. Now give me one good reason — why you cannot achieve this. When we know that 99% of the successful people are energetic & are physically fit- then what are we waiting for ? Why do we put our beds over our minds. How can you think of becoming a celebrity without doing your basics right?
The most important point- when you run in a park — please just run. Linear focus is very important here too. Your eyes don’t need to work like an umbrella..Leave that mobile phone, chuck that smelling the neck act , avoid Love chalans , don’t be a gyaani to people who are walking with you- JUST RUN LINEARLY & BREATHE EASY.
If you are not running ‘Free spirited’-you are like a car on a highway which is running with brakes on.
I wonder where are those young people in the age group of 15- 40. I hardly see them in parks / by the lakes running like the way they should. Why cannot they hit the parks at the end of the day’s work? Are they too exhausted? I can vouch — work can never exhaust this much — as would the ‘people issues’ in their life are doing them. It is a ‘Near Life Experience’ to kill the self by running, sweating like mads @ the end of the day’s work. I feel Superior; every time I do it. Don’t know why – but I feel a psychological advantage over the rest of the world; whenever I get up in the morning, run , see the sunrise.
Requesting the youth to ‘Get up and go to a park and run’. You’ll have enough time to sleep when you die. ‘One hour of silence while running in a beautiful park’ for at least 5 out of 7 days in a week = YOU WILL DEFINITELY BECOME SOMETHING GOOD IN LIFE’. It will be sensuous.
Run, jump, stretch, lift , breathe… It will give you energy to not to day dream.
Everyone is running, running and just running. You can make a statement by ‘Running in a park’ , tomorrow morning .
You may not have an ADIDAS shoe ; but definitely you can make your mind a ‘NIKE- Just do it’ mind.
Run , Baby — RUN !!! Eat less ….
Life is Beautiful !!