How to handle & manage ‘PEOPLE’ in your Life ?

Emotional Competence while handling people :-

I see most people trying to over do things to:
– Get liked
– Impress people &
– Trying to be a hero / heroine.

When you are impressing people around; It means you are already impressed by them.   The problem is – ‘Much energy will get wasted and you will feel useless and fatigued’.

‘Wo kaam hee kyun karna ; jisko shayad karne kee jarurat hee nahin hai’.

Here’s how you can help yourself :-

– Do not react or React Less or the best thing – ‘Delay your reaction’. It shall bring out a better & a more measured response. We react; maybe – because we are trying to live up to an image.

The need to feel ‘pampered’ is the root cause of our ‘Emotional turmoil & incompetence’. One looks cool & feels cathartic when one reacts to / in daily life situations. Super mard feeling types :). Try this code: Don’t react but smile. 99.99% of the people I meet/train; I find them either ‘Reacting’ or ‘Over reacting’. The other .01% end up making a style statement by ‘NOT’. If a person has decided what He or She WANTS to think, then nothing can change that. Not even the TRUTH… Unfortunately.

‘Apni zindagi mein itnaa kaam hai ; doosron ko sudhaarne ke chakar mein kyun pareshaan ho rahe ho ?’

Wo kehte hain naa
“zindagi bhar yehi bhool karta raha, dhool thee chehre par aur aaina saaf karta raha.”

Most often than not, the problem lies within. Kabira also says-
“bura jo dekhan main chala, bura na milya koy,
Jo dil khoja aapna, mujhse bura na koy”

– In the coming time, the mark of success will be -‘ how free & happy you are?’ than anything else. Busy toh koi bhi ho leta hai. Guess, it is about ‘not trying to look cool from the outside’. Maybe, it is about finding ways to be ‘cool from inside’. A lot of my friends are internet addicts. I don’t see them very happy & peaceful. I guess, the code is ‘Intra-net’, and not ‘Internet’.

– Tension lene kaa nahin ; dene kaa bhi nahin. Smile karke – logon ko apne aap honey dene kaa. Smile so much & so tenaciously that the other person becomes confused. Kyun -kaisey ye bandaa khush reh saktaa hai? 🙂 . Tension me daal do. Your professional smile will really make people wonder -there is something mystical about you. The world will begin to accept you as a ‘smart person’; ‘jisko faraq hee nahin padtaa’. You smile more then.

– So, stop finding happiness in people. Relatives remain relatives. It is mutual give and take with them. Honesty in finances, some genuine help & pampering (if you are at a powerful position) can work wonders in your equation with them. Never try to seek happiness from/ in / out of them. Remember: Sisters are only real.

– Do not feel bothered or perturbed by the reactions of other people. Such people are only transactions in life… Focus about your agendas is the key.

– Never discuss people with people. You’ll become a much better person; if you do that.

– Loving is simple; being in love is difficult. But it can be simplified if we don’t expect too much. Expectations mess up & complicate. Simplicity is much much better than diversification of emotions. Hum ‘Aiwayeen’ hi complex kar lete hain. Code:- keep it simple and straight. One reason why we mess up our emotions is: we overdo things while trying to protect our image or we over try to look heroes / heroines…

– Emotional competence is bigger than any other competence in the kind of world we live in. Train your emotions to cope better every passing day. These days I see that-The most fashionable things about the opposite gender that attracts one are not the ‘size zeroes or 6 packs’.

I meet a lot of youth & identify the following about them which attract others (opposite gender too 🙂 –
– Communicating / expressing self
– Smart simplicity &…
Genuine ability to look / sound less confused & much less ‘melodramatic’.

The whole world is becoming simpler & logical. Isn’t it?? From incoming calls chargeable to ‘outgoing’ almost free….From long queues to online payments; every damn thing around is becoming logical & simpler. Why can’t we train our emotions like that????? STD PCO s / audio cassettes / DD 1 – didn’t see the need for changing & thus became obsolete. Change your emotional management or you shall also be…

A few points which can help you raise your Emotional Competence:-

– Being Critical to things / people around me

– Never try to change people. People do not behave according to you, because they are different than / from you & have grown up to be that way. Just keep your view point politely & withdraw. No one ever really changes. Having ‘hope’ is only and only your problem. If a person has decided what He or She WANTS to think, then nothing can change that. Jo cheez toot nahin sakti; usko bigaadna bhee kyoon. We are unhappy because our priorities are misplaced. We are seeking happiness out of impressing people; rather it should come from journeying self Goals. ‘If a fool knows he / she is a fool … He/ she will not b a fool anymore’. Life’s beautiful only when u know what you want from it.

Giving advice …
Give advice only when someone asks for it- else you’ll end up feeling like a fool. Even while giving a piece of advice – say it politely & then withdraw. Do not obtrude.

– Do not easily get impressed with anything / anyone. Try & understand the context. Take some more time to understand the situation.

– Be immaculately fair in financial dealings with acquaintances & even with close people. It gives a very good impression of integrity & fairness.

– Never shirk from work / accepting responsibilities; when with people. Be a genuine leader in the group. One way – take a lot of responsibility & discharge it well.

– Two Beliefs that my parents imbued me with; and they have helped me tremendously: – Belief 1) Add value, tremendous value to whoever you meet. God will keep care of you then.

Belief 2) Be a Gentleman always. Once a gentleman; always a gentleman. You loose more, when you cease to be one. Make it a habit. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Haso aur Hasao – Naa Phaso naa Phasao.

 


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About Author

Akash Gautam is a Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer in India. Hundreds of Top Corporates like Google, CIPLA, Vodafone, McKinsey & Co., Maruti, HDFC, RIL, M&M & premier colleges like IIMs, IITs, SRCC etc go to him whenever they need a refreshing, big bang impact. Write to usWrite to us to know how he can transform your Team.

  • Ajay Grover

    Sir,

    All such articles of yours just uncomplicate everything going on inside. Just concentrating on these things leaves me with so much more positiveness. 🙂

    Thank You!

    • @ Ajay

      u are welcome 🙂

      all answers are within the self; u just have to look for them !

      Best wishes 🙂

      Akash

  • Harinder

    Fitt hai BoSS

  • saransh

    thank u so much akash, u really cleared my doubts regarding behaviour – how to react, when to react n how much to react , or , in short , how to be simple yet smart……
    but i have one problem n dat is how to priortise things, how to set goals , how to be clear about what i want from life, how to discover my true calling…plz enlighten me..
    thank you….

    • Hi Saransh !

      M glad I could make a difference 🙂

      As regarding your query; please wait for more blog posts and keep visiting the FB page as replying here would become a bit tedious. M sure u will find the answers gradually 🙂

  • sir,
    ur articles have alwayz forced me to b optimistic towards life. there were lot many situations i was baffled abt; “why this happens to me?”, but this article has answered all my questions. It made me realise that success is alwaz hidden inside; one needs to just search it….

    THANKK YOU

  • thanks for such a nice article..I have still remembered the fact you have told me in my 1st interaction//man is a creature of habits.the more good habits u have ,the more good u are.
    /I m so fortunate to have a mentor like u..thank u sir ….

    THANKS A TON

  • Pratik Agarwal

    Hello sir,

    The article is very much inspiring and it will help me in various ways… 🙂

    Thank you for such article ..

  • Rudhin

    This what our and following generation needs…………………we are concentrating on how much a person can become free and logical…..and thats what we want

  • hi AAKASH i m doing B.Com 1st.yr i have given exam 4 bank clerk please tell me how 2 prepare 4 interview & how 2 make my resume more effective

    • Hi Komal

      Pls go through my articles @ my website http://www.akashgautam.com (in the ‘Learn from Akash’ section )

      I have talked about both- ‘How to crack every interview you sit for’ and ‘How to make a smart Resume’

      Rise and Shine !!

      Akash

  • Aseem Bajaj

    “Mind Blowing Article”. I learned a lot from it. To be very frank, I am the part of that 99.99% section.
    Someone said, ” Education is an admirable thing but the things really worth to be known can’t be taught”. But, it feels Mr. Akash is there to teach those things which are really worth to be known.
    I will try to adopt every point of your’s. Thanks a ton.

  • Alok Abhishek

    hey akash sir,
    superb , article sir .. really .. bt sir it is human nature when impress some one .. human do this becoz to get attract .. and try to prove superier with others .. i am i right sir ?

    • Hi Alok..

      Superiority is proved my actions. If your actions/ doing what u are required to do impresses people; nothing like it.

      Trust me..u impress most when u are not trying to impress people.

      Regards

      Akash

      • Alok Abhishek

        ok air i got u …. try my best …to follow ..

  • Medha Ruia

    AWESOME!

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