In these 10 years (20s to 30s); I have seen people going to any extent to avoid doing what actually needs to be done! As a Motivational Speaker in India – 90% of the stuff which I receive in emails or as messages on my Social Media is what I am going to SHARE in this blogpost. All I am going to do is – ‘Take the hindsight of those thousands of messages & try & make it your foresight’.
Below are 10 ways in which people screw their lives in their 20s & regret it after 30s. As always- No Gyaan. Just pure- reality check. Intention is only one :- To help you understand ‘How to live a super inspired life in your peak youth years’.
1) Bankruptcy in Self-Education:
People just keep on staring at their phones; almost all the time. Hardly any time they give to analyzing self with patience & vision. Majority junta is trying to become ‘what they do not want to be’. Their minds are becoming mechanical products of the factory of their environment, preoccupied with breakfast, lunch & dinner, working & sleeping, internet, mobile phones, Social media, relationships and going here and there to be entertained. They don’t know what or why they are seeking. They are just too engrossed in the issues of their friends, their own complicated relationship statuses & in trying to appear ‘Cool’ to their small world.
If YOU enjoy your online time more than YOU do your offline time: ‘There’s something definitely wrong you are doing in real Life’.
The genesis of this internet addiction is our failure to engage our mind with ‘What it should do’. Our mind picks up the ‘EASY’. At our homes; we see lesser love between parents, busyness of parents, siblings too busy themselves in their own lives: All of it leaving us with no option but to get acceptance in the virtual world. The ‘LIKES’ pamper our egos and this gradually becomes a habit.
We end up carrying in our minds a Brownian motion of negative energies of so many people on internet- their issues, their uselessness, their oddities, their comments on us etc. Result: – Because of this stupid social busyness – we are almost rendered impotent to think clearly about our own self. In this hazaar confusion & loneliness- the resultant of this might sorrily become Drugs, Alcohol, Smoking & crap; in a few cases.
By evading self-analysis, people go on being robots, conditioned by their environment. True self-analysis is the greatest art of progress. Do not be like a zombie- just going through life without any purpose or intent. Decide firmly to ‘Grow through life’.
Majority people go to college / pick up that job – because they do not know ‘what else to do’. It is great to go to a good college and get a fancy degree. But one thing which I have learned while being a good student of life is ‘No job / college can teach you how to be awesome’. That is something you have to teach your own self. The best university is the ‘University of Life’. Develop a backbone. Not a mere wishbone. ‘Be a Chess player & not merely a Chess piece’.
2) Following the bandwagon: Or being a fan of the herd mentality.
Seriously, get out of this as soon as you can. It is great to work together but have an opinion, have a dream that distinguishes and defines you. Going where everywhere is going will give you the same results that everyone else is getting. We generally don’t realize this in our 20s because we are high on life. And when we do, in our 30s, it is slightly late!
Be that king of the jungle, who knows how to walk alone. Not because he has to (strong people find comfort in their own company) but because he enjoys doing it. There is no reason why you should feel even slightly stupid if you do not like what others pretend to love. There is this class of people who rightly adore Harry Porter or Soccer or Video Games. I swear, I have never related with any of them. But I also swear I have never felt ‘LESS’ because of this. People have different passions. You need to 1) Identify yours & 2) Follow it fully. Do not show off! You will waste a lot of energy in trying to live up to a reputation.
I have just loved doing ‘what my heart says’ & ‘what v few people do’. Result: – I found much less traffic on the roads that I took. Less competition! I just tried to identify a unique path for myself and am fearlessly following it. Trust me- it is fun. Try it out.
3) The obsession with Sex: Yes. The moment puberty hits, it is like a floodgate that has been opened. I have received emails of panic: 20 year olds being obsessed about masturbation and sex and porn. They get addicted, they panic, they want to stop but they don’t know how to do that.
It is not my place to ask you to stop. Because I don’t take decisions for you. No one should. Sex is natural & fun because it helps us relieve our extra pent up energies. But if you are too much obsessed with it, either you have too much free time or you are eating too much.
And overcoming this sex obsession is not an uphill task really. People struggle when they try to repress it. And they fail miserably. Neither too much indulgence nor too much abeyance will help. Rather, thought equilibrium is needed.
Three things can benefit tremendously: Meditation, Fitness & a good portfolio of Goals. Lazy people mess up more. If inspite of your best efforts you are not able to derive maximum value out of your 10pm to 2am routine- please sleep between 10-11pm. Wake up at 5am. Those early hours of the morning will get you a notorious confidence about life. A confidence which will get you those extra very productive early hours at a time when the majority world is sleeping. And I am sure — you would not want to have SEXY thoughts at 5am. Even Shri Imran Haashmi & Sri Sri Prem Chopra sleep at that time.
20s are a high energy period. These are the years when possibly you are most sexually driven (& hence more need to channelize it). Do not be desperate. Channelize your energy and see the wonders it does to you. You may want to read more at ‘Vicky Loner’.
4) The chase of Love:- I always wonder how an obsession with sex will ever help people in their pursuit for love.
The biggest impact on the sociology of a mediumly emotionally competent nation as ours has been Bollywood — for decades now. It silently mutates our thought patterns & has been promoting surreal & dreamy lives since many decades now. The producers of the movies- it seems have cracked the code recently. They know that the largest India is living under the age 30. What we are proving to the FB generation is that ‘Mind should get what it wants- even if it is non-logical’. We are showing them easy MAGIC in place of LOGIC. A ‘Flirty look’ is almost permanent on the faces of the young people.
Love is awesome. Love is good. It is one of the most important things – even in a stellar movie like interstellar. But ‘Love is a full time job especially between 20s & 30s’. I’m sure it is very romantic when someone you just met (or haven’t met) flirts with you like you have known each other for years. But what after that? Flirting is dangerous as it begins on the base of lust and 9.9 times out of 10 — it will definitely lead to any of Love, complications, mischief, heartbreaks and even complete disarray of the present normal self. Really? Are people that stupid these days to believe that a person loves you without knowing you or they are that stupid to actually fall for someone without knowing them?
It is OK if your friend has a love-sex life and you do not have. You could have a GOAL today and tomorrow thousands may love to chase you because of your ‘Awesomeness’. It doesn’t have to be like a hindi movie always. What I’m trying to say is — if you have it, great! Don’t center your life on it. If you don’t have it, don’t crib. Create a good life for yourself & it will come along!
Some people spend their entire 20s in traffic jams of relationships. They just keep on falling in love with the next available item. Love is a beautifully expensive gift. No point giving it to someone who is cheap. Stop mentally finding & waiting for the right person & just become the right person yourself. & then the right person will automatically come.
5) The ignorance about Money: Whoever you are, whatever you do, whatever you want to do in life – start understanding money, before you start spending it. It is the machinery on which the world operates.
I see too many people spending on things they don’t need. This is to impress people who don’t matter. If your GF is moving from i-Phone 5 to i-Phone 6 just for half an inch – you need to be slightly worried.
We get the equation wrong: It is not Savings = Income – Spending. It is Spending = Income – Saving.
I am not asking anyone to be penny wise and pound foolish. I am just asking people in their 20s to start learning how to spend only on things that matter. Ask yourself: Do you really need to upgrade that damn phone every time? Spend on things that add to your real value. Not on things that merely add to your face value. Extravagance should never become the aftermath of richness. Trust me- you actually do not need a lot to be happy.
6) The love of being Nocturnal: We are as good as our habits are. And this is one of the single most stupid mistake people do. The habit of being up till late and then getting up late. Not only does it disturb the natural human sleep cycle but screws with so many other biological functions that I don’t even want to write them here.
Just remember this true story: When you wake up early, it will feel like you have more than 24 hours in your day. Carefully observe- what the hell do you actually do between 10pm & 2 am? You’ll know- what I am saying.
7) The habit of not Reading: It gives you more lives. Trust me, it does.
I have seen voracious readers. They have a confidence that is not replicable by any other form of passion. They have perspectives which would otherwise come to you in your 40s. How would it be, if you get them in your 20s!
Read. Because it makes you better equipped for your 30s and 40s, for life. These are the best years to become awesome in your communication skills. You may want to check out Blogposts in the English & Communication sections of my Blog. These posts should get you that confidence super cracking.
8) Saying ‘YES’ to everything:
We have no idea – the amount of damage it does to our lives.
Don’t say yes when you want to say no. We have that ‘yes-mam-school-boy’ habit. And we can’t say no to horrible bosses or bad relationships and we start feeling stuck. Life doesn’t always bring us to those difficult situations. We do that to ourselves.
This habit that begins with 20s goes on forever. Relationships, bosses, relatives and so on. Get out of this habit as soon as you can. There will be many battles that you will be tempted to fight. Choose wisely, the ones you need to expend your energy on…
Choose your battles, because not all of them are imp. Be a good warrior. Not a worrier. The warriors don’t waste their energies on petty battles. They choose the ones that are WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
Top, successful people avoid DRAMA / unnecessary struggles. They know that their time is too precious to be wasted on foolish people or trivial stuff. Somehow they have mastered the art of ‘Saving their Energies’ for better things!
9) Being Menti-sental fools: The spelling is correct. We like being emotional. And under the aegis of the excuse that human beings are emotional, we like to overdo it. In our 20s we believe that we are allowed to always be emotional about people, our careers and our lives. This often leads to low emotional quotient.
Remember not to ever put your emotional trash baggage on each and every body around. Have few, quality friends for that. For the rest, become that emotional fortress that no vulnerability can crack through. Over time, this gives you strength to deal with whatever life throws at you. Just stop throwing yourself at people.
You will meet maximum timepass & temporary people between your 20s & 30s. Do not take their load e.g. ‘How they look at you, what they think about you, what someone said about you’. Such trivia would just not matter in the medium & long run.
How much energy gets spent ‘Thinking & worrying about people who are just not thinking & worrying about us’. Item hain hum 🙂
Emotions & feelings are so disposable. Aren’t they? You would not even remember things & thoughts (which troubled you) after a few days or weeks or months. Do not get upset about anything, any person or any damn reason. Sometimes plans would not work out inspite of your best efforts. If you believe in yourself and in your creative energy- something definitely much better will be on the way. You need to be patient & believe in God. Your timing may not be life’s timing. You just work v hard in your 20’s that even God says that there is enough in your worth to deserve the best.
10) Ignoring your Body: Everyone wants a nicer body but almost everyone does nothing to achieve it. Trust me- your opposite gender will love you for being ‘Physically fit’ than for sounding ‘Emotionally Hit’.
By your 30s, the aging process starts accelerating. The network of the body’s cells begins to get slightly loose. If you don’t take care of it now, it won’t last you. In fact, it will create more trouble than ever. I come from a family of doctors. Trust me; you would not want to make frequent visits to them.
90% people between 20s & 30s join gymnasiums in order to make an impression & not necessarily out of internal passion for fitness. That is the reason why treadmills in most homes (after a few months of their purchase) get used for hanging / drying undergarments / apparels than for running.
If you can’t beat your friends in competitive exams, marks, salary, car, relationships: BEAT THEM IN ‘HEALTH’. Most of them are becoming JUNK while trying to win the ‘Rat Race’… Get that superiority complex by keeping ‘Fitness’ ahead of everything else in your life.
Don’t think you’ll begin to do it ‘when this / that happens’. Do it today. Trust me if fitness becomes a habit with you- it will be one KILLER feeling of a lifetime.
You can have Excuses or you can have a fantastic fitness level. Run or dance or play. But don’t let your body rust. In case you decide to not to do- Yes! You are on your way to screw your years ahead. Take that! Smoke, Drink, do not exercise, have a lot of junk & then one day – ‘Dhamaakaa’ 🙂
20s is not an easy time. But it is also the prime of your entire ‘One Life’. Don’t let it go without making a mark. Have lot of fun but keep your main eye fixed at becoming ‘Awesome’! But unless YOU learn to make your mind obey you, you cannot become ‘Awesome’. Every day, every hour, perhaps every minute too you’ll need to kill your own desires in order to be who you need to be.
All that YOU will need is ‘Self Discipline’ for an awesomely inspired life. That’s it! Regularly spend time with your own-self to realize how you can pour your talent & creativity into the world. The world is waiting for you. Go -Rise & Shine!
P.S:- You found some value in it? Do not forget to SHARE with your gang of friends (who might just be needing to hear all this). Thank you !